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The following appeared in the annual report from the president of the National Brush Company."In order to save money, we at the National Brush Company have decided to pay our employees for each brush they produce instead of for the time they spend pr

The following appeared in the annual report from the president of the National Brush Company. " In order to save money, we at the National Brush Company have decided to pay our employees for each brush they produce instead of for the time they spend pr 2bxdj
This passage claims that the National Brush Company have decided to pay their employees for each produced brush instead of for working time because of it helps to company save money and earn a profit this logic has several flaws, and, therefore is not convincing. The logic of the argument is compromised because the author fails to mention some important aspects, suggest groundless cause-effect reasoning, relies on numerous unsupported assumptions, First of all, the author claims that this policy will lead to the production of more and better brushes. When making such a statement the author assumes that the quantity and quality of products depend only on workers' salaries. Indeed, the author’s argumentation can seem logical at first glance. However, the author fails to mention that the quantity and the quality of producing brushes can depend on materials, the technology of producing and other factors. Therefore, the author’s argument is doubtful because it contains a major flaw in reasoning. If the author had provided more relevant information his argument would have been more convincing. Second, the argument suggests that the company factories will operate for fewer hours and it will lead to savings on electricity and security costs. Again, this logic may seem reasonable and justified to the inattentive reader. Nevertheless, a careful analysis reveals a major weakness in the author’s argumentation. The author ignores the possibility that the increasing quantity of brushes will increase and the consumption of electricity, and, consequently, the cost of electricity. This problem could have been avoided if the author had mentioned numbers. Finally, the argument points out that this way of reorganization will allow the company to reduce staff size. However, it may be the case that if they reduce staff their profit will be on the same level. But the author totally ignores to consider such a scenario in the passage This problem could have been avoided if the author had provided a careful analysis of all facts and factors relevant to the matters. In conclusion, the argument contains several logical inconsistencies. The author’s reasoning, therefore, is doubtful and hardly convincing
This passage claims that the National
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Brush
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Company
have decided to pay their employees for each produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brush
instead
of for working time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
save money and earn a profit this logic has several flaws, and,
therefore
is not convincing. The logic of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is compromised
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects, suggest groundless cause-effect reasoning, relies on numerous unsupported assumptions,

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
claims that this policy will lead to the production of more and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brushes
. When making such a statement the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
assumes that the quantity and quality of products depend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on workers' salaries.
Indeed
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
argumentation can seem logical at
first
glance.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
fails to mention that the quantity and the quality of producing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brushes
can depend on materials, the technology of producing and other factors.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is doubtful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it contains a major flaw in reasoning.

“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
had provided more relevant information his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
would have been more convincing.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
suggests that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
factories will operate for fewer hours and it will lead to savings on electricity and security costs. Again, this logic may seem reasonable and justified to the inattentive reader.
Nevertheless
, a careful analysis reveals a major weakness in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
argumentation. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
the possibility that the increasing quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brushes
will increase and the consumption of electricity, and,
consequently
, the cost of electricity.

This problem could have
been avoided
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
had mentioned numbers.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
points out that this way of reorganization will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
staff size.
However
, it may be the case that if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
staff their profit will be on the same level.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
to consider such a scenario in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
passage


This problem could have
been avoided
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author
had provided a careful analysis of all facts and factors relevant to the matters.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
contains several logical inconsistencies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
author’s
reasoning,
therefore
, is doubtful and hardly
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
convincing
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IELTS essay The following appeared in the annual report from the president of the National Brush Company. " In order to save money, we at the National Brush Company have decided to pay our employees for each brush they produce instead of for the time they spend pr

Essay
  American English
8 paragraphs
347 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • The following appeared in the annual report from the president of the National Brush Company."In order to save money, we at the National Brush Company have decided to pay our employees for each brush they produce instead of for the time they spend pr