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That many students are far too on computers for their study may have some negative effects . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

That many students are far too on computers for their study may have some negative effects. with this statement e8qaA
Over the past few decades, the world are revolutionised with computerisation. Therefore, the government is trying to bring the computer into education. Although computers can help students to gain a wide range of knowledge, many people think that student are gradually depend on computers for their study may have some negative effects. From my observation and my point of view, i believe that the disagvantages of it outweigh the advantages. To begin with, the benefits of using computerare are widely admitted. As a high-tech tool, computers can provide students with diversified method to learn more efficiently. They can get many news in every part of the world, some of which can draw many lessons from and avoid it. Besides, the computer is the place where students can help themselves to gather a lot of information through many websites designed for studying online with teachers or exchanging their experience and knowledge in studying by video call, which supports them to absorb knowledge effectively with good spirit in a lively atmosphere
Over the past few decades, the world are
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
with
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerisation' is British English.
computerisation
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is trying to bring the computer into education. Although computers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to gain a wide range of knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are
gradually
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on computers for their study may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. From my observation and my point of view,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
disagvantages
of it outweigh the advantages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the benefits of using
Possible spelling mistake found.
computerare
are
widely
admitted. As a high-tech tool, computers can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with diversified method to learn more
efficiently
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible agreement error. The noun news seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much news", "a good deal of news".
many news
in every part of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of which can draw
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lessons from and avoid it.
Besides
, the computer is the place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves to gather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
websites designed for studying online with teachers or exchanging their experience and knowledge in studying by video call, which supports them to absorb knowledge
effectively
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
spirit in a lively atmosphere
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IELTS essay That many students are far too on computers for their study may have some negative effects. with this statement

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
168 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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