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a friend asking your advice for hill climbing

a friend asking your advice for hill climbing PXQaj
How are you? I hope everything is going well for you. The camping trip was one of the best experiences I've had in my life. It is amazing to go camping in the forest or the mountains. I think you are going to go hill climbing. Last summer, I went hiking on Barcelona Hill. That was a 7-day tour. The first day of hill climbing was not good for me. I am new to hill climbing. That night, we put a camp in a sloppy area. There was a rock that stood beside our camp. We made fire, had dinner, and talked a lot with each other and had fun. I am almost exhausted from climbing. That night, I could not sleep. The next morning, everyone woke up earlier than me. After I woke up, we started to move. The next day, we were at the top of the mountain. For the first time, I saw the view of Barcelona from above. It feels like a king watching his kingdom from his castle. We met other people like us. Now they are joined with us, and we have a good companion for the rest of the day. I go hunting for food. After so many tries, I got the rabbit on my own. There is a river with clear, crystal water. We used to drink and bathe. We discovered a waterfall the other day; it is beautiful, and the water is cool enough for a bath. , that day I didn't bath. Those days are amazing. There are some problems that arise, like good food. The toilet mosquitos continue to rain and tyre me. I experienced all of them. Be careful when you are climbing. It is too hard to climb. Make sure you get all the travel equipment with you. There could be a chance for me to join with you. If my parents say yes, then I will join you on trip day. Otherwise, you will go with your friends. I hope you will enjoy your camping trip
How are you? I hope everything is going well for you. The camping trip was one of the best experiences I've had in my life. It is amazing to go camping in the forest or the mountains. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
you are going to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
. Last summer, I went hiking on Barcelona
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hill
. That was a 7-day tour. The
first
day of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for me. I am new to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
. That night, we put a camp in a sloppy area. There was a rock that stood beside our camp. We made fire, had dinner, and talked a lot with each other and had fun. I am almost exhausted from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
. That night, I could not sleep. The
next
morning, everyone woke up earlier than me. After I woke up, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
. The
next
day, we were at the top of the mountain. For the
first
time, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the view of Barcelona from above. It feels like a king watching his kingdom from his castle. We met other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like us.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
with us, and we have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
companion for the rest of the day. I go hunting for food. After
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tries, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the rabbit on my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. There is a river with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, crystal water. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to drink and bathe. We discovered a waterfall the other day; it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, and the water is cool
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for a bath.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
that day I didn't bath. Those days are amazing. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems that arise, like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
food. The toilet
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "mosquitoes", the plural form of the noun 'mosquito'?
mosquitos
continue to rain and
Possible spelling mistake. 'tyre' is British English.
tyre
me. I experienced all of them. Be careful when you are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
. It is too
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to climb.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
sure you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all the travel equipment with you. There could be a chance for me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
with you. If my parents say yes, then I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
you on trip day.
Otherwise
, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
your friends. I hope you will enjoy your camping
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
trip
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IELTS essay a friend asking your advice for hill climbing

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
339 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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