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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid much more than they deserved?

that celebrities are paid much more than they deserved? gWxeg
Nowadays, celebrities can easily make a lot of money just by playing a role in a movie or even an advertisement. There are some people who think that modern stars make much more money than they deserved. But there are also those who believe that this is well-deserved money for talent and hard work. in this essay I am going to explain my own opinion and prove it. Usually in each job a person is evaluated by the work done and the result. Celebrities the same, but they always have another ways to earn more than their monthly salary. And every day, loyal fans send them a lot of expensive gifts. Some celebrities can also create their own brand to sell their products or become an ambassador for some brands, which help them to earn more money and reputation. They use their beauty as the face for that brand's products. Therefore, fans and their loved ones will support these brands and purchase these products. Celebrities do not need to get the proper marketing courses and academic studying, but they still get a lot of money just by using their stunning appearance, and a part of natural talent. In conclusion, I understand that with any job, we also need to pay a lot of effort. However, the payment needs to be balanced to the real workload they have. It should be the same for celebrities and other professions.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by playing a role in a movie or even an advertisement. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that modern stars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than they deserved.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
also
those who believe that this is well-deserved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for talent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion and prove it.

Usually
in each job a person
is evaluated
by the work done and the result.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
the same,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they always have another ways to earn more than their monthly salary. And every day, loyal fans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of expensive gifts.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
can
also
create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
brand to sell their products or become an ambassador for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brands, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and reputation. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their beauty as the face for that brand's products.
Therefore
, fans and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones will support these brands and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
these products.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Celebrities
do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the proper marketing courses and academic studying,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by using their stunning appearance, and a part of natural talent.

In conclusion
, I understand that with any job, we
also
need to pay a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of effort.
However
, the payment needs to
be balanced
to the real workload they have. It should be the same for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and other professions.
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IELTS essay that celebrities are paid much more than they deserved?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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