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Do you agree or disagree that celebrities are paid far too much money? You should write at least 250 words.

that celebrities are paid far too much money? kYA7M
Paing too much amount for famous people is becoming controversial topic for a number of countries. I strongly disagree with this argument. In this essay I will explain both sides of issue. In my point of view, firstly, celebrities have to be paid much salary, as they don't have private life and work very hard. There is no time schedule for their jobs due to the fact that, well-known people work from morning till night. Ronaldu, who is famous forward, spend his whole day in the gym, even he is in holiday. I read from newspaper that, football player has a sport club in his house in order to train in the evenings. Secondly, someone that everybody knows use their fame and money to help others, as did Messi last year when the world faced with korona virus. He paid doctors 1 mln dollars and turned his mall into hospital. On the other hand, many people think that essential workers such as nurses and teachers often receive low salaries, while celebrities are paid too much and most of them waste their money on expensive houses, cars and parties. Singer Maddonna spend 1mln dollars in a year only for her make-up. But teachers work from fingers to the bones and earn 30 thousand dollars per year. In conclusion, I deeply beleive that, celebrities have to be paid to much salary owing to the fact that, they have no private life and even their family suffer from it
Paing
too
much
amount for
famous
people
is
becoming controversial topic for a number of countries. I
strongly
disagree with this argument. In this essay I will
explain
both sides of issue. In my point of view,
firstly
, celebrities
have to
be
paid
much
salary, as they don't have private life and work
very
hard
. There is no time schedule for their jobs due to the fact that, well-known
people
work from morning till night.
Ronaldu
, who is
famous
forward, spend his whole day in the gym, even he is in holiday. I read from newspaper that, football player has a sport club in his
house
in order to train in the evenings.
Secondly
, someone that everybody knows
use
their fame and money to
help
others, as did Messi last year when the world faced with
korona
virus. He
paid
doctors 1
mln
dollars and turned his mall into hospital.
On the other hand
,
many
people
think
that essential workers such as nurses and teachers
often
receive low salaries, while celebrities are
paid
too
much
and most of them waste their money on expensive
houses
, cars and parties. Singer
Maddonna
spend 1mln dollars in a year
only
for her
make
-up.
But
teachers work from fingers to the bones and earn 30 thousand dollars per year.
In conclusion
, I
deeply
beleive
that, celebrities
have to
be
paid
to
much
salary owing to the fact that, they have no private life and even their family suffer from
it
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IELTS essay that celebrities are paid far too much money?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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