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TET in Vietnam is so happy for me

TET in Vietnam is so happy for me q0J3E
Lunar New Year Festival often falls between late January and early February; it is among the most important holidays in Vietnam. Officially, the festival includes the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd day in Lunar Calendar; however, Vietnamese people often spend nearly a month celebrating this special event. Tet Holiday gets its beginning marked with the first day in the Lunar Year; however, its preparation starts long before that. The 23rd day of the last Lunar month is East Day—a ritual worshiping Kitchen Gods (Tao Cong). It thought that each year on this day, these Gods go to heaven to tell Jade Emperor about all activities of households on earth. On New Year’s Eve, they return home to continue their duties as taking care of families. On New Year’s Day, the first ones who come to visit households—called first-foot—are very important and hence need to be well chosen, as they believed to hold in their hands the entire luck of the family in New Year (Tan Nien). After that, till the third day or even the fourth day of Tet, individuals meet relatives, friends, and colleagues, wishing them all kinds of good things like happiness, health, and success.
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Lunar
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New
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Year
Festival
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
falls between late January and early February; it is among the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
holidays in Vietnam.
Officially
, the festival includes the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd day in
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Lunar
Calendar;
however
, Vietnamese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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often
spend
nearly
a month celebrating this special
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. Tet Holiday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
its beginning marked with the
first
day in the
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Lunar
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Year
;
however
, its preparation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
long
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that. The 23rd day of the last
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Lunar
month is East Day—a ritual worshiping Kitchen Gods (Tao Cong). It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that each
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year
on this day, these Gods go to heaven to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
Jade Emperor about all activities of households on earth. On
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New
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Year’s
Eve, they return home to continue their duties as taking care of families. On
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New
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Year’s
Day, the
first
ones who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit households—called
first
-foot—are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
hence
need to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well chosen
, as they believed to hold in their hands the entire luck of the family in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Year
(Tan
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nien
). After that, till the third day or even the fourth day of Tet, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
relatives, friends, and colleagues, wishing them all kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things like happiness, health, and success.
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IELTS essay TET in Vietnam is so happy for me

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
196 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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