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Terrorism has become common

Terrorism has become common domnd
Terrorism has become more influential nowadays leading to increased threat among the common men who intends to live peace and tranquillity on earth. Terrorism is the greatest menace facing by today’s world and spreading its tentacles all around is the cruelest crime from all other violence, mainly affecting the innocent people who leads his life with peace and placidity on earth. This essay presents the major reasons behind this phenomenon and support with relevant examples. To begin with, first and foremost reason behind the terrorism is lack of education. For instance, in 2013 a bomb exploded near the popular hotel in Hyderabad which ruined the life of many innocent citizens along with children. In addition, unemployment in nation is leading cause of order to earn more money, citizens are misleading to perform tasks against the law. Even these terrorism not only cheating the public but also the Government. Moreover, Everyone is getting frightened by terrorist activities. poverty is another reason for terrorism. Lack of money makes person to do illegal things for getting sufficient money. For an example, 10 years old boy was sent prison because he tried to steal the bread, this situation makes a person to take revenge on law and order. Hence terrorism creating violent atmosphere all around world. In conclusion, terrorism is a hazard for mankind. The government should impose laws that must address reasons for terrorism. Every individual has right to protect the nation just by binding to laws. Moreover, law and order must provide harsh punishment to offenders in a way that they can learn moral.
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Terrorism
has become more influential nowadays leading to increased threat among the common
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men
who
Did you mean "intend"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'men' should be used.
intends
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
peace and
Possible spelling mistake found.
tranquillity
on earth.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Terrorism
is the greatest menace facing by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world and spreading its tentacles all around is the cruelest crime from all other violence,
mainly
affecting the innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "lead"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
leads
his life with peace and placidity on earth. This essay presents the major
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reasons
behind this phenomenon and support with relevant examples.

To
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begin
with,
first
and foremost
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reason
behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
is lack of education.
For instance
, in 2013 a bomb exploded near the popular hotel in Hyderabad which ruined the life of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent citizens along with children.

In addition
, unemployment in nation is leading cause of order
Did you mean "earning"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'order' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to earn
more money, citizens are misleading to perform tasks against the
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law
. Even these
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terrorism
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cheating the public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
.
Moreover
, Everyone is getting frightened by terrorist activities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
poverty
is another
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reason
for
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terrorism
. Lack of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
person to do illegal things for getting sufficient money. For an example, 10 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he tried to steal the bread, this situation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person to take revenge on
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law
and order.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
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terrorism
creating violent atmosphere all around world.

In conclusion
,
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terrorism
is a hazard for mankind. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose
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laws
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
address
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reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
. Every individual has right to protect the nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by binding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
laws
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
law
and order
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide harsh punishment to offenders in a way that they can learn moral.
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IELTS essay Terrorism has become common

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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