Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Tenenage offenders must not be punished the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree?

Tenenage offenders must not be punished the same way as adults. brorY
Nowadays we are facing various crimes, offences and people who commit them. Some people believe that teenagers, due to their age, should be responsible for their actions in a completely different way than adults. I strongly disagree with this statement. This essay will explain my point of view. First of all, teenagers are already obliged to understand what they can do and what they cannot. They are at an age when they can already make decisions by themselves and understand what consequences they may have. That means that if they decide to do something illegal then they need to be punished in the same way as adults are punished. Second of all, if they do not realize the seriousness of what they are doing at an early age, then it will only get worse in the future. Teenagers should realize that for every offence there is a punishment, its severity depends on what they have done. If this is not explained to them, they will grow up with the idea that they can do anything, and in the future their actions may be much worse. In conclusion I can say that teenagers are people with conscious thinking, they have to understand what can be for their wrong actions. That is why they should be punished exactly to the same extent as adults in order to understand the seriousness.
Nowadays we are facing various crimes,
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who commit them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, due to their age, should be responsible for their actions in a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way than adults. I
strongly
disagree with this statement. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my point of view.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are already obliged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
what they can do and what they cannot. They are at an age when they can already
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions by themselves and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
what consequences they may have. That means that if they decide to do something illegal then they need to
be punished
in the same way
as adults
are punished
.

Second of all, if they do not realize the seriousness of what they are doing at an early age, then it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse in the future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
should realize that for every
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
there is a punishment, its severity depends on what they have done. If this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
to them, they will grow up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that they can do anything, and in the future their actions may be much worse.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
can say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with conscious thinking, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
what can be for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
actions.
That is
why they should
be punished
exactly to the same extent as adults in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the seriousness.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Tenenage offenders must not be punished the same way as adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts