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Television sports shows such as Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much To you agree or disagree v.1

Television sports shows such as Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much To you agree or disagree v. 1
It is considered by some that libraries should be substituted by computers for these are waste of materials and money, while there are others who think that these are still important and relevant. In my opinion, I believe that having libraries always available to the public these would serve as a tool and avenue to continue to learn while computers are an addition to the resources to educate people. On the one hand, there are other people believed that libraries should not be shut down and not to be replaced by computers for these are good points of access to the information where students can make research especially to the unfortunate ones and able to concentrate to study during examination days. In other words, these places are where students find it very convenient to gather and discuss their homework whilst at the same time resources are available in-house, thus no need for them to go online and bother to think the internet fee. Furthermore, libraries are good for those who needs a quiet place to fully focus the lesson and reading books. On the other hand, many think that having libraries still existing where technologies are common in these days are a waste of supplies and funds and, therefore, these should be replaced by computers. In many developed countries where computers are available and everyone has the access, they use this as a tool for searching any information and this makes them easy, for there is no need to go to the library where it would take another time and effort. Finally, in my opinion, libraries are one of the important facilities inside the school campus where students are motivated to study, doing homework and explore by keeping reading of books whilst computers are also an additional and at the same time an alternative resource in the libraries. Take for example a student who is preparing for thesis, this would need a thorough research in computer and a place where there is a need to focus the attention about the paper. In conclusion, having the libraries continues to open would still give benefits to the public that this can never be replaced by anything. Then it would be a good recommendation that computers should only be an addition to the facility in order that people will have more options.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that libraries should
be substituted
by computers for these are waste of materials and money, while there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and relevant. In my opinion, I believe that having libraries always available to the public these would serve as a tool and avenue to continue to learn while computers are an addition to the resources to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believed that libraries should not
be shut
down and not to
be replaced
by computers for these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
points of access to the information where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
research
especially
to the unfortunate ones and able to concentrate to study during examination days. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, these places are where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient to gather and discuss their homework whilst at the same time resources are available in-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
,
thus
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for them to go online and bother to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the internet fee.
Furthermore
, libraries are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for those who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
a quiet place to
fully
focus the lesson and reading books.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having libraries
still
existing where technologies are common in these days are a waste of supplies and funds and,
therefore
, these should
be replaced
by computers. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
where computers are available and everyone has the access, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this as a tool for searching any information and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them easy, for there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to go to the library where it would take another time and effort.

Finally
, in my opinion, libraries are one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities inside the school campus where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are motivated
to study, doing homework and explore by keeping reading of books whilst computers are
also
an additional and at the same time an alternative resource in the libraries. Take
for example
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
who is preparing for thesis, this would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a thorough research in computer and a place where there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to focus the attention about the paper.

In conclusion
, having the libraries continues to open would
still
give benefits to the public that this can never
be replaced
by anything. Then it would be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
recommendation that computers should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be an addition to the facility in order that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will have more options.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Television sports shows such as Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much To you agree or disagree v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
389 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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