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Television newspapers and magazines are too focused on the lives of famous people Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion

Television newspapers and magazines are too focused on the lives of famous people Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion wBmJN
Some people argue that media are too celebrity centric. However, I feel that the focus on celebrities is due to public demand and is more or less equal to the media's focus on other walks too. I shall explain my stance in two main points. Firstly, newspapers have specific sections that include news from different areas such as business, politics, sports, entertainment etecetra. It is the top people from each field that make news and since they make news they are famous. Thus, it is obvious that famous people will be broadcasted in newspapers. Also, it is us that have given such people a status called " famous" . Holding the media responsible for the status given by us is preposterous and in a way double standard. Moreover, it is the people who come on television and become famous, not the other way round. For example, a news channel talking about the owner of a new start up may not be big news at first. However, if that startup becomes a hit amongst the crowd and then if a news channel broadcasts an interview with its owner, the same news will now be huge. This happens because more number of people become interested in knowing how that owner made it big. Initially, no one paid heed to what the owner was talking about. Thus, it is the deeds of the a person that make him famous and it is us public who wants to know more about that person thereby giving the media an insight to gather mpre information about his life. Finally, the situation of whether or not the media is too focused on lives of famous people is complex. Some people may still feel that so much status is unnecessary. Nevertheless I feel that the media is also a money making industry and news is what we as people are intersted in and therefore if it is famous people, so be it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are too celebrity centric.
However
, I feel that the focus on celebrities is due to public demand and is more or less equal to the media's focus on other walks too. I shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my stance in two main points.

Firstly
, newspapers have specific sections that include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas such as business, politics, sports, entertainment
Possible spelling mistake found.
etecetra
. It is the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from each field that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and since they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
.
Thus
, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be broadcasted
in newspapers.
Also
, it is us that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a status called
Possible spelling mistake found.
&quot
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
famous&quot
;
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Holding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
responsible for the status
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by us is preposterous and in a way double standard.

Moreover
, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
on television and become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
, not the other way round.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel talking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up may not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at
first
.
However
, if that startup becomes a hit amongst the crowd and then if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel broadcasts an interview with its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be huge. This happens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become interested in knowing how that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
made it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
.
Initially
, no one paid heed to what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owner
was talking about.
Thus
, it is the deeds of
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
person that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and it is us public who wants to know more about that person thereby giving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
an insight to gather
Possible spelling mistake found.
mpre
information about his life.

Finally
, the situation of
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is too focused on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is complex.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
still
feel that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much status is unnecessary.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
I feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
also
a money making industry and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is what we as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
intersted
in and
therefore
if it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
be it.

IELTS essay Television newspapers and magazines are too focused on the lives of famous people Discuss this statement giving reasons and examples to support your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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