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Television may have a harmful effect on young people

Television may have a harmful effect on young people WGgP0
Along with the development of modern technology and social life, television has become an indispensable item in every family. Television has been regarded as a saving means of entertainment and acquiring useful knowledge. Besides those benefits, many people believe that watching too much TV can cause many negative effects on young people. I agree that television will bring harmful effects to young people. The fact that young people spend too much time watching television can cause them to lose valuable time to be able to experience reality. Observing and experiencing real things in life can help develop brain functions, and if they stay glued to the TV, it will reduce those things which means their brain functions will be reduced and not fully developed. When young people watch too much TV, it will cause distraction and affect their eyesight. Watching TV a lot will make you feel distracted because the speed of sound and image changes on TV will affect your ability to concentrate. Thereby reducing brain activity, affecting poor memory, intelligence, and decision-making ability in study and work. Young people may experience eye strain from watching television for hours because their eyes are not regulated during television viewing. This will cause them to feel dry and sore in the eye sockets and headaches worse will lead to nearsightedness. It is undeniable that watching TV will help young people access many sources of knowledge easily, discover many things without having to move much. However, watching too much TV will make them become couch potatoes, more passive, and don't care about anything but TV. Moreover, all day just staying at home and watching TV will also cause harmful effects on their mental health as well as physical health. In conclusion, young people should not waste lots of time watching TV because it will cause a lot of harm to them if they abuse TV too much, in my opinion, they should go out and take more realistic experiences than watching TV all day.
Along with the development of modern technology and social life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has become an indispensable item in every family.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
has
been regarded
as a saving means of entertainment and acquiring useful knowledge.
Besides
those benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that watching too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
TV can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
will bring harmful effects to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
time watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
them to lose valuable time to be able to experience reality. Observing and experiencing real things in life can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
develop brain functions, and if they stay glued to the TV, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
those things which means their brain functions will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and not
fully
developed.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
TV, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
distraction and affect their eyesight. Watching TV a lot will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel distracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the speed of sound and image
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
on TV will affect your ability to concentrate. Thereby reducing brain activity, affecting poor memory, intelligence, and decision-making ability in study and work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may experience eye strain from watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their eyes are not regulated during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
viewing. This will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
them to feel dry and sore in the eye sockets and headaches worse will lead to nearsightedness.

It is undeniable that watching TV will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sources of knowledge
easily
, discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
.
However
, watching too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
TV will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become couch potatoes, more passive, and don't care about anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
TV.
Moreover
, all day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
staying at home and watching TV will
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
harmful effects on their mental health
as well
as physical health.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not waste lots of time watching TV
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
harm to them if they abuse TV too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
, in my opinion, they should go out and take more realistic experiences than watching TV all day.
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IELTS essay Television may have a harmful effect on young people

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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