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Government should pay for individual education and it is free for students however other said that students should pay for their education.discuss both view nd give your opinion.

Government should pay for individual education and it is free for students however other said that students should pay for their education. lQk9
Undoubtedly, education plays an imperative role in everyone's life. there is a contentious issue among masses whether government should spend money for individual education or individual can pay for their study. This essay will highlight both of these viewpoints before forming a plausible conclusion. To commence with, paying by authorities is more worthwhile for masses. firstly, most of the children belong to poor families along with they have not enough money to invest on their study then government must help for those learner as well as it's beneficial for those educator. Various studies conducted in the USA has shown that 57% pupils get education due to government's help. Secondly, some families have finance obstacle and it's extremely cumbersome for people to invest their money on children and it's the biggest step for poor people. despite a few positive points there are some adverse points also. one approach is that, if the education will be free then younger cannot do their study with fully concentration owing to this, they think there is no any lose because the education is free they can try again. Second approach is that, when individuals pay for study then they do their all efforts to complete their requirements. Therefore, masses pay for their study. To conclude, although government should pay for education, individual do a lot of hardwork to do their best by their own money.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an imperative role in everyone's life.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
is a contentious issue among masses whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. This essay will highlight both of these viewpoints
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming a plausible conclusion. To commence with, paying by authorities is more worthwhile for masses.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, most of the children belong to poor families along with they have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to invest on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for
Did you mean "this learner" or "those learners"?
those learner
as well
as it's beneficial for
Did you mean "this educator" or "those educators"?
those educator
. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
conducted in the USA has shown that 57% pupils
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families have finance obstacle and it's
extremely
cumbersome for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on children and it's the biggest step for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
despite
a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse points
also
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
approach is that, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will be free then younger cannot do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
with
fully
concentration owing to this, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is free they can try again. Second approach is that, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
then they do their all efforts to complete their requirements.
Therefore
, masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
To conclude
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
to do their best by their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
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IELTS essay Government should pay for individual education and it is free for students however other said that students should pay for their education.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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