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television has had a positive influence on society

television has had a positive influence on society GWgQQ
I think television has a positive influence on society. It’s a good source of news. The members in the society can get news easily from News Channels and thus keep themselves informed of what’s happening around. Like, my grandfather watches News on TV everyday just to keep up with the latest events. Beside television can be a kind of entertainment. People can watch different shows on TV such as funny talk shows and soap operas. I have many friends who like watching Late show with David Letterman and some other friends like watching TV series such as Lost and Friends. They all consider TV as a good way of relaxing themselves and of killing time. So, with the news and same TV programs, people in a society share a lot of things that they can talk about in any event. Therefore, society actually benefits from TV.
I
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think
television has a
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positive
influence on
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society
. It’s a
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good
source of
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news
. The members in the
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society
can
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get
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news
easily
from
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News
Channels and
thus
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keep
themselves informed of what’s happening around. Like, my grandfather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
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News
on TV everyday
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just
to
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keep
up with the latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. Beside television can be a kind of entertainment.
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People
can
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watch
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different
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shows
on TV such as
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funny
talk
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shows
and soap operas. I have
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many
friends who like watching Late
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show
with David Letterman and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other friends like watching TV series such as Lost and Friends. They all consider TV as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of relaxing themselves and of killing time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, with

the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and same TV programs,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
share
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that they can talk about in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
actually benefits from TV.
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IELTS essay television has had a positive influence on society

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
146 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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