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television efforts on our lives

television efforts on our lives PMoqB
It has been for decades that television comes to the people's house as the Media, and they today still have some different opinions about the positive or negative effect influence on society. Many people believe that television damages the culture, and made a situation for wealthy countries to adverse their strong culture against weakens. this is because the stronger, wealthier countries can persuade others to their customs by producing more programs that showed widely all over the world. these programs influenced people, almost young, in the country that they are shown. Also, for the financial issues that require television networks to survive, they need to attract large audiences; so they had to produce programs that are interesting for a great range of people. For producing a universal television show you require to consider the different types of audiences. To interest all these different types of contacts, most television programs should be short in length, full of action and excitement; and to reaching these elements and follow them, do not require so much intelligence or knowledge because these are universal themes that are common all around the world. Although, we know that television has some positive effects on cultures within a society as well. People who lived in a foreign country or somewhere without their own culture can access the multicultural station by television in a limited way. In my opinion, I believe that television is a way that stronger countries can affect other countries' cultures by producing more programs while it weakens the cultures that are already in a weakened position.
It has been for decades that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
as the Media, and they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect influence on society.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
damages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, and made a situation for wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to adverse their strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
against weakens.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the stronger, wealthier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can persuade others to their customs by producing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
widely
all over the world.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, almost young, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that they
are shown
.

Also
, for the financial issues that require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
networks to survive, they need to attract large audiences;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they had to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that are interesting for a great range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For producing a universal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
you require to consider the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of audiences.

To interest all these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of contacts, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
should be
A more concise phrase may lose no meaning and sound more powerful.
short in length
, full of action and excitement; and to reaching these elements and follow them, do not require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much intelligence or knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are universal themes that are common all around the world.

Although, we know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
within a society
as well
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or somewhere without their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
can access the multicultural station by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Consider replacing "in a limited way" with the adverb for "limited"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a limited way
.

In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a way that stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can affect other countries'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
by producing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
while it weakens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
that are already in a weakened position.

IELTS essay television efforts on our lives

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
261 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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