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ndoubtedly, human do various activities over own life span, however, the range of these actions are completely depende

ndoubtedly, human do various activities over own life span, however, the range of these actions are completely depende ldbQJ
Undoubtedly, human do various activities over own life span, however, the range of these actions are completely dependent on their age. A controversial question has currently aroused the attention of people whether old people should take risk than youngsters? In this response to the question, common wisdom believes the young people should expose to new innovation because they can catch new information and old people, in contrast, are supposed to relax and enjoy retirement but I totally have a different perspective on the issue and tend to believe old people need to explore more than young people do. I will elaborate on my reason in the following paragraph. To begin with, exploring new thing help old people to keep mental and physical health. In the bustle and hustle modern era, individuals are continuously under pressure and anxiety. Hence they are prone to get various kinds of physical diseases for example Alzheimer's and mental disorders such as depression. exploring new innovations and attempting to be successful give them vitality and increase life hope due to fact that they feel a sense of effectiveness and usefulness. For another thing. it not only stimulate their brain to think and find a solution that plays a great role to prevent Alzheimer, but it also leads to be the active and spend more energy that is very effective for physical health
Undoubtedly
, human do various activities over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life span,
however
, the range of these actions are completely dependent on their age. A controversial question has
currently
aroused the attention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
than youngsters? In this response to the question, common wisdom believes the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should expose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
innovation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can catch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
information and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
in contrast
,
are supposed
to relax and enjoy retirement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
totally
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective on the issue and tend to believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to explore more than young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do. I will elaborate on my reason in the following paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
mental and physical health. In the bustle and hustle modern era, individuals are
continuously
under pressure and anxiety.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
they are prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
various kinds of physical diseases
for example
Alzheimer's and mental disorders such as depression.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
innovations and attempting to be successful give them vitality and increase life hope due to fact that they feel a sense of effectiveness and usefulness. For another thing.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stimulate their brain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and find a solution that plays a great role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Alzheimer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
leads to be the active and spend more energy
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective for physical
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
health

IELTS essay ndoubtedly, human do various activities over own life span, however, the range of these actions are completely depende

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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