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Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the current scenario, we often find that the small screen has acquired most of the time of today’s generation. Hence, individuals become more lethargic and abject to dwell with social gatherings. I strongly agree with the aforesaid statement and discuss the following reason in below paragraph: - Electronics Media has detrimental effects on humankind. Firstly, young generation are more prone to watch television. This is because they get addicted by vibrant, glossy and attractive visualization of the small screen. As a result, it affects their physical and mental well-being and consequently increases in their health hazards like obesity, eye-sight problem. Secondly, it is affect their cognitive thinking. Often children are denied to play outside which again affects their analytical thinking, their brain will be in passive mode while watching screen. Therefore, while playing outside their hand, eye and brain coordinate among themselves to react but in front small screen they sit ideal and watch without any physical movement hence they become unsocial. Lastly, plethora of channels is there for entertainment. Due to advancement of technology, we can watch numerous of channels broadcasting different shows irrespective of age and class. For instance, children prefers cartoon channels, elder people prefer spirituals channels, male prefer sports channels and at last women prone to watch serials. To conclude, small screen have big impact in our prevailing life as it leads to create numerous health issues, make them unsocial hence they spend most of the time in home as well as due to wide scope of variants in television shows they maximum wants to stay back at home.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
find that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
has acquired most of the time of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation.
Hence
, individuals become more lethargic and abject to dwell with social gatherings. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the aforesaid statement and discuss the following reason in below paragraph: -

Electronics Media has detrimental effects on humankind.
Firstly
, young generation are more prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
television. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted by vibrant, glossy and attractive visualization of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
.
As a result
, it affects their physical and mental well-being and
consequently
increases in their health hazards like obesity, eye-sight problem.

Secondly
, it is affect their cognitive thinking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
children
are denied
to play outside which again affects their analytical thinking, their brain will be in passive mode while watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
.
Therefore
, while playing outside their hand, eye and brain coordinate among themselves to react
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in front
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
they sit ideal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
without any physical movement
hence
they become unsocial.

Lastly
, plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
is there for entertainment. Due to advancement of technology, we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
numerous of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
broadcasting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
irrespective of age and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
For instance
, children prefers cartoon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
, elder
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer spirituals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
, male prefer sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
and at last women prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
serials.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact in our prevailing life as it leads to create numerous health issues,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them unsocial
hence
they spend most of the time in home
as well
as due to wide scope of variants in television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
they maximum wants to stay back at home.
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IELTS essay Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Television dominates the free-time for too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.