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Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies nowadays. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies nowadays. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment? pgLD
Over the past decades, televised talent shows have become very popular with most of citizens in the contemporary societies. Of manet talented finding shows on television attracting big viewers. These programs not only discover unique traits but also entertaining. Many talented shows today mesmerized big audiences today in Vietnam such as "Who is the millionaire" for all age viewers. Likewise, "Road to Mount Olympia" was organised since 1999 and the participants are students in the country, "Vietnam's got talent", "The Voice Vietnam" and "The voice kids" for talented children Talent show, is a wonderful platform for them to manifest their talent and find talents in each area in country. Television is the easiest way to reach people so that they can keep up with the information about opportunities to show their veiled talent. In addition, the registration is experienced coaches, or mentors who always willing to give a hand for contestants to develop their capability of doing. Accordingly, TV talent shows played an important role in changing the face of popular televisions. On these programs, the more talented contestants are, the more successful the show is. The producer profits financially from the shows. Besides, contribute to a successful show depends on coach or mentors with a sense of humor is the factor that game show always attracted the large amount of viewers. In conclusion, television talent shows bring advantages to the social media. People can interact with social media to have amusement and plus, some shows can be educative for the young audiences and inspired for the mind.
Over the past decades, televised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular with
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the citizens") or simply say "most citizens".
most of citizens
in the contemporary societies. Of
Possible spelling mistake found.
manet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
attracting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
viewers. These programs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
discover unique traits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
entertaining.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
mesmerized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
audiences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in Vietnam such as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Who is the millionaire
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
for all age viewers.
Likewise
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Road to Mount Olympia
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
was
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
since 1999 and the participants are students in the country,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Vietnam's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
talent
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The Voice Vietnam
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
The voice kids
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
, is a wonderful platform for them to manifest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
in each area in country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is the easiest way to reach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the information about opportunities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
their veiled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
.
In addition
, the registration
is experienced
coaches, or mentors who always willing to give a hand for contestants to develop their capability of doing.
Accordingly
, TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in changing the face of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
. On these programs, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talented
contestants are, the more successful the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
is. The producer profits
financially
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
Besides
, contribute to a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
depends on coach or mentors with a sense of humor is the factor that game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
always attracted the large amount of viewers.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
bring advantages to the social media.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can interact with social media to have amusement and plus,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
can be educative for the young audiences and inspired for the mind.
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IELTS essay Televised talent shows have become popular in many societies nowadays. Are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
258 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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