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Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive. jKda
It is often believed that women are more balanced, calm, upbringing and show less aggressive character than men show. This essay totally agrees with this statement because they have umpteen responsibility and they do not lose their temper in any situation. Firstly, it has long been established that a woman should raise a child and consult the farm and men should hunt or go to war. That is why the allocation of different roles to men and women has led to common belief of women being peaceful while men being aggressive. Female looking after a child tend to develop the characters of feeling of love and compassion. A woman cares about comfort, performs her duties as a mother, wife or head of the company. For example, Ministry of Social Policy of Ukraine stated that 90% of male are involved to violence while female occupies 10%. Secondly, women set an example by showing calmness, confidence and do not lose face in each situation. As mothers, they must be happy and strict at the same time and as a boss, they should express confidence in their decisions. They are strong individuals. For example, Elizabeth II, queen of the United Kingdom, must always smile at the audience, be stable and never lose her temper. To conclude, the female is generally more composed than the male because they have more liability and they do not hit the roof.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more balanced, calm, upbringing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
less aggressive character than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
. This essay
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have umpteen
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
responsibility and
they do not lose their temper in any situation.

Firstly
, it has long
been established
that a woman should raise a child and consult the farm and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
should hunt or go to war.
That is
why the allocation of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
roles to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
has led to common belief of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
being peaceful while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
being aggressive. Female looking after a child tend to develop the characters of feeling of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and compassion. A woman cares about comfort, performs her duties as a mother, wife or head of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
For example
, Ministry of Social Policy of Ukraine stated that 90% of male
are involved
to violence while female occupies 10%.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
set an example by showing calmness, confidence and do not lose face in each situation. As mothers, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be happy and strict at the same time and as a boss, they should express confidence in their decisions. They are strong individuals.
For example
, Elizabeth II, queen of the United Kingdom,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always smile at the audience, be stable and never lose her temper.

To conclude
, the female is
generally
more composed than the male
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
liability and
they do not hit the roof.
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IELTS essay Some people think that women are generally more peaceful than men as their characters are naturally more nurturing than aggressive.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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