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All students should be required to studyart and music at secondary school.

All students should be required to studyart and music at secondary school. 3yxJ

I totally agree with this view because music and art are an excellent way of uniting pupils of all ages music and art help to take therapeutic benefits for kids and teenagers. to commence with, the main benefit of art and music help pupils to enhance their knowledge about their tradition, culture, folks and national song. if pupis should not be demanded by school, artwork, folk music and internal songs are completely ignored by young generations. . Moreover, during art and music subjects learners who have mental stress in specific subjects, they can relax, sing song, draw picture and obtain the solution for their problem. Also they keep the mind healthy and also promote adequate sleep. for example doctors and psychologists use musical treatment to cure patients once in ablue moon. on the other hand, one possible drawback is that adolescents who wants to learn mathematic, chemistry and any languages waste time for non-specific subjects in during lesson. Because it is more important to become competent in their definite science. In conclusion, I completely agree. All students should study art and music in school.

I totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 with this view This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcraftprofession
art
 are an excellent way of uniting pupils of all ages You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcraftprofession
art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 to take therapeutic benefits for kids and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :juvenilesadolescents
teenagers
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterTo
to
 commence with, the main benefit of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcraftprofession
art
 and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
 pupils to enhance their knowledge about their tradition, culture, folks and national song. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterIf
if
Possible spelling mistake found.pupilspupilpupspubispup is
pupis
 should not be demanded
 by school, artwork, folk You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 and internal songs are completely This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :neglected
ignored
 by young generations. Don't put a space before the full stop.
.
Moreover
, during You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcraftprofession
art
 and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 subjects learners who have mental This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accentuate
stress
 in specific subjects, they can relax, This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.sing-songsingsong
sing song
, draw picture and obtain the solution for their problem. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Also,
Also
 they This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :retain
keep
 the mind healthy and also
 promote adequate sleep. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterFor
for
 example doctors and psychologists This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 musical treatment to cure patients once in Possible spelling mistake found.blueablea blue
ablue
 moon.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterOn
on
 the other hand, one possible drawback is that adolescents who Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'adolescents' should be used.want
wants
 to learn mathematic, chemistry and any languages waste time for non-specific subjects in during lesson. “Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
 it is more This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 to become competent in their This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:certainobvious
definite
 science.

In conclusion
, I completely This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
. All students should study You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcraftprofession
art
 and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsoulraprockmelodypiecesinging
music
 in school. 