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telephone has more effect on communities or television

telephone has more effect on communities or television 0lnjO
Whether telephone has more effect on communities or television seems to be controversial. A number of people argue that the television invention had more radical influences on people’s life. However, I tend to believe that the telephone has numerous helpful effect on people’s lives, such as making an easy way to communicate and managing works from long distances. The primary reason why I am supporting my idea lies in the fact that thanks to the telephones people are able to communicate with each other more easily compared to the past. In other words, nowadays, the telephone provides a simple pathway for people to have information from each other. Also, by using of telephone as a cost effective choice, people are able to save more money instead of spending money to travel to another country for seeing their family and friends. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. I was a student in India five years ago. I had phone calls with my parent, every night. If we had not had telephone, we would have spent more money and time to have information about our family and friends’ situation. Another subtle point that I should consider is the fact that, by invention the telephone, people are able to perform their works from any parts of the world. Based on this ability, we don’t need to spend much more money and time to go to different places for doing our work. Indeed, we can do our work and responsibility by making a call. For instance, we can pay our bills by a simple phone call when we are in our home or any other places. Furthermore, by using of advanced phone we are capable to make video calls from any parts of the universe. Hence, we don’t need to perform our works face to face, we can do them through a video call. According to the reasons have been discussed in the preceding paragraphs it can be claimed that the telephone has more influences on people’s lives rather than television. Some great features of this important invention, such as making communication from long distances and performing a lot of work without a physical presence are really noticeable. I suggest government spend more money to progress and improve telephone lines to have a more effective usage.
Whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
has more effect on communities or television seems to be controversial. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the television invention had more radical influences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.
However
, I tend to believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
has numerous helpful effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, such as making an easy way to communicate and managing works from long distances.

The primary reason why I am supporting my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
lies in the fact that thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more
easily
compared to the past. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
provides a simple pathway for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have information from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Also
, by using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
as a cost effective choice,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to save more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
instead
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to travel to another country for seeing their family and friends. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. I was a student in India five years ago. I had phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
with my parent, every night. If we had not had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
, we would have spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and time to have information about our family and friends’ situation.

Another subtle point that I should consider is the fact that, by invention the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to perform their works from any parts of the world. Based on this ability, we don’t need to spend much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and time to go to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places for doing our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Indeed
, we can do our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and responsibility by making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
.
For instance
, we can pay our bills by a simple phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
call
when we are in our home or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places.
Furthermore
, by using of advanced phone we are capable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
from any parts of the universe.
Hence
, we don’t need to perform our works face to face, we can do them through a video call.

According to the reasons have
been discussed
in the preceding paragraphs it can
be claimed
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
has more influences on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
rather
than television.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
great features of this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
invention, such as making communication from long distances and performing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without a physical presence are
really
noticeable. I suggest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to progress and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
telephone
lines to have a more effective usage.
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IELTS essay telephone has more effect on communities or television

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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