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Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the Internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's modern world, the internet has become an integral part of education. It is often seen that young adolescents are spending a lot more time over the internet, which is hindering their social skills. Unfortunately, the above fact is the harsh reality of present times, and I completely agree with the same. On the one hand, some people might argue that the internet provides necessary references to teenagers, without which it is difficult for them to gather additional knowledge of their syllabus. Even in many schools, certain notes of subjects are referred from the internet. For example, in a recent study, it has been seen that students who take additional information on subjects from the internet score a lot better in exams. It is evident these facts bolster the idea that the internet is an essential part of the study routine of teenagers. Despite the above fact, I would argue, the time teenagers spend on the internet is far beyond what is required. For this, they are missing regular face-to-face interaction with people, which is making them less social. Teenagers are more interested in social networking rather than physical networking, and this is giving way to simplex communication. For example, a social experiment showed that the 13-year-old, who is extremely shy in the real-world, prefers to impose himself as an extrovert behind the screen. This only boosts up his confidence in the virtual world rather than in real life. Also, he faces a hard time interacting with people around him. Therefore, it is evident that over spending time on the internet by young people is adding a negative impact on the social skills. To conclude, although the internet is highly recommended for better performance in studies for teenagers, they tend to spend unnecessary high time over the internet that adversely affects their social skills. This essay did put forward the facts supporting the same and proving the harsh reality.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern world, the internet has become an integral part of education. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that young adolescents are spending a lot more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
over the internet, which is hindering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Unfortunately, the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
is the harsh reality of present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, and I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the same.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might argue that the internet provides necessary references to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, without which it is difficult for them to gather additional knowledge of their syllabus. Even in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
schools, certain notes of subjects
are referred
from the internet.
For example
, in a recent study, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that students who take additional information on subjects from the internet score a lot better in exams. It is evident these facts bolster the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the internet is an essential part of the study routine of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

Despite the above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
, I would argue, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
spend on the internet is far beyond what
is required
. For this, they are missing regular face-to-face interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which is making them less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teenagers
are more interested in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
rather
than physical networking, and this is giving way to simplex communication.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
experiment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the 13-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, who is
extremely
shy in the real-world, prefers to impose himself as an extrovert behind the screen. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
boosts up his confidence in the virtual world
rather
than in real life.
Also
, he faces a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around him.
Therefore
, it is evident that over spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet by young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If ‘people’ is plural here, don’t use the third-person singular verb.
is
adding a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, although the internet is
highly
recommended for better performance in studies for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
, they tend to spend unnecessary high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
over the internet that
adversely
affects their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This essay did put forward the facts supporting the same and proving the harsh reality.
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IELTS essay Teenagers are spending an increasing amount of time on the Internet, and this is having a negative effect on their social skills.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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