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Should Facebook be allowed to collect data from its users? You should write about 300 words.

Should Facebook be allowed to collect data from its users? You should write about 300 words. NwpGW
Facebook is now playing the most common scocial application, some people think that we shouln’t allow it to collect our datas, while some are on the opposite. Owing to my view, I completely agree with the first idea that Facebook should be allowed to take the informations from its users by some main reasons. First of all, Facebook can be a place for us to remain unforgetable memories and all beautiful vibes happening in our lifes. Time flies and a second we remember about them, just find on Facebook’s saving box. To put in another way, we can easily find out whatever we want, not only in recent time but also long long time ago. While looking back to all the data were saved, you would imagine all memorable memories in your youth, which you have had a great time in, you can learn from these small things and use it as the experiences for next step in life. On the other hand, Facebook collect information about the people, Pages, accounts, hashtags and groups you connect with and how you interact with them on our Products, such as the people you communicate most with or the group you join. In addition, this application collect contact information if you choose to upload, sync, or import it from a device (such as an address book, call log, or SMS log) and use that information to do things like help you and others find people you may know as well as for the other purposes outlined below. In conclusion, I regard that allowing Facebook to collect your data is a necessary way to remain unchanged to your informations and save all things that you need to use again in the future.
Facebook is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
playing the most common
Possible spelling mistake found.
scocial
application,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we
Possible spelling mistake found.
shouln
’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
it to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collect
our
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are on the opposite. Owing to my view, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that Facebook should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to take the
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
from its users by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
main reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Facebook can be a place for us to remain
Possible spelling mistake found.
unforgetable
memories and all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
vibes happening in our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
flies and a second we remember about them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
find on Facebook’s saving box. To put in another way, we can
easily
find out whatever we want, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible typo: you repeated a word
long long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
ago. While looking back to all the data
were saved
, you would imagine all memorable memories in your youth, which you have had a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in, you can learn from these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it as the experiences for
next
step in life.

On the other hand
, Facebook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, Pages, accounts, hashtags and groups you connect with and how you interact with them on our Products, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you communicate most with or the group you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
.
In addition
, this application
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collect
contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
if you choose to upload, sync, or import it from a device (such as an address book, call log, or SMS log) and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to do things like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
you may know
as well
as for the other purposes outlined below.

In conclusion
, I regard that allowing Facebook to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collect
your data is a necessary way to remain unchanged to your
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
and save all things that you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
again in the future.
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IELTS essay Should Facebook be allowed to collect data from its users? You should write about 300 words.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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