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Teenager should be given more labour to take their own decisions do you agree or disagree

Teenager should be given more labour to take their own decisions wMg0d
Education and knowledge helps a person to understand the difference between right or wrong. However it is argued that teenagers should be given some practical work to do in order to improve their decision making. I totally agree with this notion. Relevant points supporting my view will be discussed in further paragraphs. When a person is in a state where he has to decide between two options it is essential that he has complete knowledge about both the sides in depth. Half knowledge is like a monster which would trick him to fall into the trap of wrong side. Education ans theoretical knowledge plays a very crucial role in this decision making process helping the person to think in an educated manner. To illustrate when I had to select between two project topics for my university project, I researched and understood the background of both after which I could decide the final topic correctly. On other hand only bookish knowledge would make a person jack of all and master of none. A person may gain all sorts of important information however when in reality when it is the time to apply that in real life to land onto a particular decision situations may vary. In such cases the individual would be in a highly critical position as he was never prepared for such unexpected circumstances. For example education department of India has made it compulsory for the government schools to teach atleast some topics via practical implementations only. This sort of labour will not only give them better understanding of the topic but also will prepare them for further actions by improving their decision making process. In summary, educating a teenager with proper technical knowledge of the subject is essential however my inclination is more towards practically experiencing when as it not only helps one understand everything but also prepares them for better decision making.
Education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to understand the difference between right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it
is argued
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical work to do in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion. Relevant points supporting my view will
be discussed
in
further
paragraphs.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is in a state where he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
decide between two options it is essential that he has complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about both the sides in depth. Half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is like a monster which would trick him to fall into the trap of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
side. Education ans theoretical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial role in this
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider replacing "in an educated manner" with the adverb for "educated"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an educated manner
. To illustrate when I had to select between two project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
for my university project, I researched and understood the background of both after which I could decide the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
correctly
.

On other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
bookish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
jack of all and master of none. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
may gain all sorts of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information
however
when in reality when it is the time to apply that in real life to land onto a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
situations may vary. In such cases the individual would be in a
highly
critical position as he was never prepared for such unexpected circumstances.
For example
education department of India has made it compulsory for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
schools to teach
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topics
via practical implementations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
. This sort of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
give them better understanding of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will prepare them for
further
actions by improving their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.

In summary, educating a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
with proper technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of the subject is essential
however
my inclination is more towards
practically
experiencing when as it not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
one understand everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
prepares them for better
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
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IELTS essay Teenager should be given more labour to take their own decisions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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