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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place to live

Technology has made the world a better place to live BMoq9
Making the planet a better place to live is a major concern. It is where we all live, and it is in our power to enhance or deteriorate the planet. Some individuals, I'm sure, would agree that technology has improved the world; others, I'm sure, would disagree. Technology, in my opinion, has made the world a better place to live for two major reasons. The main reason is that technology has connected all the world. Being connected with people from other cities and counties has made a globalized world. For example, one year ago, when I was in University, I met a friend named Morritz, he was from Germany and he came to study one semester here in Mexico. Although we became very close, he had to return to Germany. Fortunately, we could stay in touch using skype. This awesome technology tool allowed me keep talking with him and by the time, I could learn a lot of things about his country, his culture, a little bit of his language. I started to search online more people from Germany. It was too much my interest that two years later, I decided to study in Germany. As you can see, if it were not for the technology, I would not have had the opportunity of knowing people so quickly and became interested for other country to study there. Another reason is that technology has made our life easier. We are running all the time and sometimes we do not have time to make payments, go to shopping, take a course, study another language, etc. Technology has made this things for example easier for us. For instance, a couple of years ago, when I had to go the bank in order to make my monthly payments, took me hours and made me feel frustrated. Another example that made me feel stressed was not being able to go shopping because I just had no time and sometimes because shopping stores were crowded. Nowadays, technology has allowed people to pay online, avoiding of endless rows in the bank. Also, technology has transformed my way to shopping, I do it too online, I can find anything that I want, even if it is in other country, I can buy it quickly. These experiences taught me that what years ago took me hours and made me feel frustrated and stressed, with technology, it take me a few minutes. In sum, though some may disagree, technology has made the world a better place to live. Not only has connected people from around the world but also has made our life easier. Every person should take advantage of benefits that technology offers such as meeting people from around the world, making online payments, shopping online, take online courses, read online books, etc.
Making the planet a better place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
is a major concern. It is where we all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
, and it is in our power to enhance or deteriorate the planet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals, I'm sure, would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
; others, I'm sure, would disagree.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
, in my opinion, has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a better place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for two major reasons.

The main reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has connected all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Being connected
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cities and counties has made a globalized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
For example
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
ago, when I was in University, I met a friend named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Morritz
, he was from
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Germany and
he came to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
one semester here in Mexico. Although we became
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close, he had to return to Germany.
Fortunately
, we could stay in touch using skype. This awesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
tool
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
talking with him and by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, I could learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things about his country, his culture, a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of his language. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to search
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from Germany. It was too much my interest that two years later, I decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in Germany. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, if it were not for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, I would not have had the opportunity of knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
and became
The usual collocation for "interested" is "in" not "for". Did you mean "interested in"?
interested for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
there.

Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made our life easier. We are running all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
payments, go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, take a course,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
another language, etc.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has made
Did you mean "these"?
this
things
for example
easier for us.
For instance
, a couple of years ago, when I had to go the bank in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my monthly payments, took me hours and made me feel frustrated. Another example that made me feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
was not being able to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
had no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
stores
were crowded
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, avoiding of endless rows in the bank.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has transformed my way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, I do it too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, I can find anything that I want, even if it is in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
country, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
quickly
. These experiences taught me that what years ago took me hours and made me feel frustrated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, it
Did you mean "takes"?
take
me a few minutes. In sum, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may disagree,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a better place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
has connected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has made our life easier. Every person should take advantage of benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
offers such as meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
payments,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
courses, read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
books, etc.
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IELTS essay Technology has made the world a better place to live

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
464 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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