Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Technology has changed the way people spend their free time. Especially the youngster

Technology has changed the way people spend their free time. Especially the youngster ORxWN
Nowadays, technology’s role in our lives is undeniable. It has changed the way people lived, especially youngsters. Despite numerous benefits it brings, I firmly believe that it might bring some unavoidable drawbacks. Firstly, it has a bad effect on youth’s health. The adolescents have been paying too much attention to social media. In the past, children really enjoyed spending their free time outdoors and doing physical activities together. But nowadays, this generation prefers staying indoors, surfing the Internet, watching films. They spend too much time playing games or chatting with virtual friends instead of doing exercise or joining social activities. Moreover, spending hours on the screen makes a negative impact on their physical and mental health. Results in adolescence nowadays tend to have obesities which lead to numerous potential diseases. Secondly, it is a time-consuming activity. We always remain engaged with a number of online activities such as checking emails, chatting, online shopping, etc. Sometimes we can spend too much time listening to music or watching films on some websites. In addition, some social networking sites contain potential risks, because they are not strictly controlled. A number of websites can report false and reactionary information, other one even can take advantage of your belief then make money illegally. Or the virus can spread rapidly and infiltrate computer systems, destroy data, software of thousands of computers. In conclusion, I strongly believe that besides the advantages it brings it also contains some drawbacks. Especially in this century where technologies are more advanced than ever. If used incorrectly, the disadvantages are unavoidable.
Nowadays, technology’s role in our
lives
is undeniable. It has
changed
the way
people
lived
,
especially
youngsters. Despite numerous benefits it brings, I
firmly
believe that it might bring
some
unavoidable drawbacks.

Firstly
, it has a
bad
effect on youth’s health. The adolescents have been paying too much attention to social media. In the past, children
really
enjoyed spending their free time outdoors and doing physical
activities
together.
But
nowadays, this generation prefers staying indoors, surfing the Internet, watching films. They spend too much time playing games or chatting with virtual friends
instead
of doing exercise or joining social
activities
.
Moreover
, spending hours on the screen
makes
a
negative
impact on their physical and mental health. Results in adolescence nowadays tend to have
obesities
which lead to numerous potential diseases.

Secondly
, it is a time-consuming
activity
. We always remain engaged with a number of online
activities
such as checking emails, chatting, online shopping, etc.
Sometimes
we can spend too much time listening to music or watching films on
some
websites.
In addition
,
some
social networking sites contain potential
risks
,
because
they are not
strictly
controlled. A number of websites can report false and reactionary information, other one even can take advantage of your belief then
make
money
illegally
. Or the virus can spread
rapidly
and infiltrate computer systems,
destroy
data, software of thousands of computers.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
besides
the advantages it brings it
also
contains
some
drawbacks.
Especially
in this century where technologies are more advanced than ever. If
used
incorrectly
, the disadvantages are unavoidable.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Technology has changed the way people spend their free time. Especially the youngster

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    VIOLENCE MEDIA AND CHILDREN
    No. There is absolutely no evidence to support this theory. First, let's draw up some definitions. When we talk about “media" we mostly mean entertainment and not journalism. It may be that people with a liking for violence will play violent video games. But the games themselves have nothing to do...
  • 5band
    Rising numbers of juvenile crime attributed to media violence overexposure.
    I do not agree that this is the main cause of juvenile delinquency. The main cause of juvenile crime is the lack of opportunities. The little access to education, lack of food and health are also causes that can be attributed to this problem. Governments should have policies aimed at slowing young p...
  • 6band
    Some people think they have done all they should do to society by paying taxes, but other people think people should take more responsibilities.
    Different people have different ideas about whether we, as average citizens, should hold more accountabilities besides paying taxes or not. In my opinion, there are still many responsibilities that can be taken by residents. The advocates against taking more responsibilities think that problems fac...
  • 5band
    Why were dinosaurs so successful?
    During the Triassic period, over 200 million years ago, dinosaurs established their domination globally even though environmental conditions were exceptionally harsh. Indeed, in resource-poor habitats (i. e. only composed of pine trees and ferns) the foraging success of animal species is minimized d...
  • 5band
    What a nun can teach a scientist about ecology
    Biodiversity is declining worldwide at an unprecedented rate; therefore, conservation programs are needed more than ever before. Part of the valuable knowledge needed to protect species is detained by local populations who cohabit with them. One striking example is how nuns contribute to the preserv...
  • 5band
    Humble plants that hide surprising secrets
    Biodiversity is declining worldwide through the sheer pressure of urbanization, pollution and climate change. This undermines a wide array of ecosystem services which are notably provided by rare plants species. For instance, in the Mascarene islands (which correspond to Mauritius, Reunion, Rodrigue...