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technology and people's relationship

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In modern society, technology has made a significant impact on the method of how people interact with one another. Innovations in technology have enabled little-to-none wait time in connecting people throughout the world. This advancement has both positive and negative developments in people’s relationships. Instant messaging, email, live video, and voice calls have streamlined communication. Having made conversations faster, easier, and more accessible. This has enabled people to make new relationships with people faster and as simple as clicking the send button. Technology has been connecting friends and family members throughout the globe, helping ease the feelings of loneliness and wanting far better than snail mail ever could. Sending love and affection has diversified from letters to emojis and pictures. Interactions between businesses have also improved in aspects of speed, convenience, and security. Advancements in communication technology have furthered humankind’s reach beyond Earth and have enabled Neil Armstrong to become the first man to set foot on the moon. However, technology has also opened doors to drawbacks. Genuine communication has been taken for granted. In my experience, people always expect an instantaneous response that when not given easily sours relationships. Secondly, the types of relations nowadays have become more superficial and are taken for granted because of how easy it is to rekindle conversations. In conclusion, innovations in technology have brought convenience in communication. Overall, this is a positive development because humanity has never felt so close to each other than ever before. Alongside this is a safety blanket that we sometimes take for granted. Nonetheless, this has been a positive development for humankind.
In modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has made a significant impact on the method of how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
interact with one another. Innovations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have enabled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
-to-none wait time in connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
throughout the world. This advancement has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
relationships.

Instant messaging, email,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
video, and voice calls have streamlined
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
. Having made conversations faster, easier, and more accessible. This has enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new relationships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
faster and as simple as clicking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
button.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has been connecting friends and family members throughout the globe, helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the feelings of loneliness and wanting far better than snail mail ever could. Sending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection has diversified from letters to emojis and pictures. Interactions between businesses have
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in aspects of speed, convenience, and security. Advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have furthered humankind’s reach beyond Earth and have enabled Neil Armstrong to become the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to set foot on the moon.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
also
opened doors to drawbacks. Genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has
been taken
for granted. In my experience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
an instantaneous response that when not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
easily
sours relationships.
Secondly
, the types of relations nowadays have become more superficial and
are taken
for granted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of how easy it is to rekindle conversations.

In conclusion
, innovations in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have brought convenience in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
.
Overall
, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
humanity has never felt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to each other than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Alongside this is a safety blanket that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
take for granted. Nonetheless, this has been a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development for humankind.
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IELTS essay technology and people's relationship

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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