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Technology adnancement boom or ban

Technology adnancement boom or ban aEG9P
One of the conspicuous trend of todays world’s is colossal upsurge in the number of people believing that technology makes the people inactive. There is a wide spread worry that this will lead to myriad of concern in one’s life. However, I do not entirely accept this, and I will explain why in this essay. There are several arguments in favor of my stance. Most preponderant one is that efficient technology advancements and there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantage it offers, not only benefits more when it comes to being effective, but they can enhance productivity and quality of their lives, with much ease, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all those merits stand one in good stead, as augmenting the chance of prosperity and excellence is concerned. Another pivotal factor in the aforementioned propositions is that hit is only likely to help one thrive and excel in various areas. Besides, when one follows such as system can they broaden their horizons, thus learning such attributes as dedication and perseverance. Hence, it is apparent why many are in the favor of upgrade of technology. In the views of the arguments outlined above, once can conclude that the benefits of technology are indeed too grate to ignore.
One of the conspicuous trend of
todays
world’s is colossal upsurge in the number of
people
believing that technology
makes
the
people
inactive. There is a wide spread worry that this will lead to myriad of concern in one’s life.
However
, I do not
entirely
accept this, and I will
explain
why in this essay.

There are several arguments in favor of my stance. Most preponderant one is that efficient technology advancements and there are numerous other benefits in various fields. Thanks to the wide range of advantage it offers, not
only
benefits more when it
comes
to being effective,
but
they can enhance productivity and quality of their
lives
, with much
ease
, efficacy, and convenience. Needless to say, all those merits stand one in
good
stead, as augmenting the chance of prosperity and excellence
is concerned
.

Another pivotal factor in the aforementioned propositions is that hit is
only
likely to
help
one thrive and excel in various areas.
Besides
, when one follows such as system can they broaden their horizons,
thus
learning such attributes as dedication and perseverance.
Hence
, it is apparent why
many
are in the favor of upgrade of technology.

In the views of the arguments outlined above, once can conclude that the benefits of technology are
indeed
too grate
to
ignore
.
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IELTS essay Technology adnancement boom or ban

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
215 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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