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balancing work and other parts of life

balancing work and other parts of life EpBnQ
In recent years many people engaged in the working field, expanding their working hours which caused a disequilibrium state in many aspects of their lives. Individuals now are more aware of the importance of their mental health that require them to deal with occupation problems and call on solutions to solve them. This essay will explain in detail how physical and mental exhaustion in addition to social issues are the end results, and the proposed solutions to overcome these troubles. As a starting point of discussion, let us discuss the problems that arise from lack of stability in life due to increase in working hours. One effect of this phenomenon would definitely be physical and mental tiredness leaving the individual powerless to accomplish anything at all. This is because human bodies have limits, not like robots, we compose of living cells that require periods of rest to renew its energy. Not only will there be fatigue, but also social communication will be affected thoroughly. For example, there will be no time for prober interaction among family members. Analyzing the problem is important but that should not be the end of the discussion. Despite the problems explained above, there are a number of solutions we can attempt to make. All work places have to consider the importance of vacations and short schedules for their employees. In contrast to what they think, achieving this will have a better reflection on the productivity of their employees. In addition, one needs to be educated about the value of achieving balance among his work, health and social interaction. For example, providing free classes that teach people the importance of recreation activities with their friends and family members, and how will this impact their lives positively. Definitely, both work places and individuals play rules in combating the problems associated with the increased working hours. Even though many individuals focus mainly on their work believing that it is the only way to advance their careers and make their lives better, they could not be more wrong. With the serious problems of health deterioration and breakdown of social relations, we have to focus on looking deeply at resolving this problem. That is why the recommendations of working hours' reduction, work, health and social interaction balancing must be implemented immediately.
In recent years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
engaged in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
field, expanding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours which caused a disequilibrium state in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are more aware of the importance of their mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
that require them to deal with occupation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and call on solutions to solve them. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in detail how physical and mental exhaustion
in addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issues are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
results, and the proposed solutions to overcome these troubles.

As a starting point of discussion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that arise from lack of stability in life due to increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours. One effect of this phenomenon would definitely be physical and mental tiredness leaving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
powerless to accomplish anything at all. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human bodies have limits, not like robots, we compose of living cells that require periods of rest to renew its energy. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will there be fatigue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
communication will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
thoroughly
.
For example
, there will be no time for
Possible spelling mistake found.
prober
interaction among family members. Analyzing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that should not be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the discussion.

Despite the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
above, there are a number of solutions we can attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider the importance of vacations and short schedules for their employees.
In contrast
to what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, achieving this will have a better reflection on the productivity of their employees.
In addition
, one needs to
be educated
about the value of achieving balance among his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction.
For example
, providing free classes that teach
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
the importance of recreation activities with their friends and family members, and how will this impact their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
positively
. Definitely, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in combating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
associated with the increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours.

Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
focus
mainly
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
believing that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to advance their careers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better, they could not be more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. With the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
deterioration and breakdown of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relations, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on looking
deeply
at resolving this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
That is
why the recommendations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
hours' reduction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction balancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be implemented
immediately.
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IELTS essay balancing work and other parts of life

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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