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Technological improvement has made our life more comfortable than ever before. Some people argue that this is a positive trend, while others say that it is leading to a negative consequence. Discuss advantages and disadvantages, and then give your opinion."

Technological improvement has made our life more comfortable than ever before. Some people argue that this is a positive trend, while others say that it is leading to a negative consequence. Discuss advantages and disadvantages, and then give your opinion. " 0LO3
These days, it is widely believed that improved technologies are considered to be beneficial owing to the fact that it provides an opportunity to make our life more convenient in comparison with two decades ago. In spite of the fact that there are numerous positives brought by new technologies, we still may experience serious drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and give my personal point of view. First, it is thought by a handful of people that utilizing renewed technologies can significantly affect the way individuals work nowadays. Meanwhile, an increasing number of people tend to opt to cooperate remotely from anywhere in the world, due to the fact that modern technologies enable many individuals to get well-paid job, while technophobes who prefer to work offline should have to utilize obsolete methods and, as a result, the amount of their official salary will be much less, in comparison with people who work online. Moreover, according to the research which was conducted in 2020 journalists detected that nowadays it would be more beneficial to use modern technologies in order to get remunerative labour. In contrast, poor eyesight is a major problem owing to the fact that human beings spend an excessive amount of time by using various electronic devices, which could lead to impaired vision problems. In addition, it has been already proven by scientists in 2019 that our eyesight dramatically deteriorates from gadgets. As an illustration, it has been already conducted that a plethora of people approximately 76% today should have to wear glasses or lenses, whereas a few decades ago only 32% used to wear glasses. Thus, it makes it clear that well-developed gadgets can seriously affect people's eyesight. In conclusion, although it is a common belief that improved technologies has more negative effects, in spite of this, I am entirely persuaded that the arguments I mentioned above outweigh this idea.
These days, it is
widely
believed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
are considered
to be beneficial owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that it provides an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life more convenient
in comparison
with two decades ago.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that there are numerous positives brought by new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, we
still
may experience serious drawbacks. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and give my personal point of view.

First
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that utilizing renewed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
can
significantly
affect the way individuals work nowadays. Meanwhile, an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to opt to cooperate
remotely
from anywhere in the world, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
enable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
well-paid job, while technophobes who prefer to work offline should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
utilize obsolete methods and,
as a result
, the amount of their official salary will be much less,
in comparison
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who work online.
Moreover
, according to the research which
was conducted
in 2020 journalists detected that nowadays it would be more beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
remunerative
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
.

In contrast
, poor eyesight is a major problem owing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that human beings spend an excessive amount of time by using various electronic devices, which could lead to impaired vision problems.
In addition
, it has been already proven by scientists in 2019 that our eyesight
dramatically
deteriorates from gadgets. As an illustration, it has been already conducted that a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
approximately 76%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear glasses or lenses, whereas a few decades ago
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
32%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wear glasses.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that well-developed gadgets can
seriously
affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's eyesight.

In conclusion
, although it is a common belief that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
has more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
this, I am
entirely
persuaded that the arguments I mentioned above outweigh this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
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IELTS essay Technological improvement has made our life more comfortable than ever before. Some people argue that this is a positive trend, while others say that it is leading to a negative consequence. Discuss advantages and disadvantages, and then give your opinion. "

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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