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Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the worlds fuel resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the worlds fuel resources. RrGp
It is believed by a wide majority of individuals that air pollution is being created by air tourism so it should be banned. I somewhat disagree with given notion. To Begin with, There are an array of supportive reasons why many people deem that air lines should be restricted. Primary reason is that, it leads to environmental pollution. In other words, alternative fuel is used in planes which is the major cause of air degradation because it pumps out various obnoxious gases. As a result, it gives a birth to a host of complications such as asthma and so on. Primary cause is that,
It
is believed
by a wide majority of individuals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution is
being created
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it should
be banned
. I somewhat disagree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Begin
with, There are an
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "arrays"?
array
of supportive reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
lines should
be restricted
. Primary reason is that, it leads to environmental pollution.
In other words
, alternative fuel is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
which is the major cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
degradation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it pumps out various obnoxious gases.
As a result
, it gives a birth to a host of complications such as asthma and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Primary cause is that,

IELTS essay Some people believe that air travel should be restricted because it causes serious pollution and uses up the worlds fuel resources.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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