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Technological devices have revolutionized the world for whole type pf people, especially for children by changing time

Technological devices have revolutionized the world for whole type pf people, especially for children by changing time 3aVX5
Technological devices have revolutionized the world for whole type pf people, especially for children by changing time. With intervention artificial intelligence everything has to be done rapidly and effortlessly. Unfortunately, this new type of living is not desirable, it has own edges and drawbacks. Foremost, technological product is harmful for health. Nowadays, the children spend their time by sitting on the internet and follow sedentary lifestyle. Depending on computer or other devices demonstrate that you are distancing from friends and family. Altering human beings’ and their children behaviour are going to seem on their future. Opportunity of losing significant things tend to depression and sadness. A possible solution of this problem would be limiting electronic devices, such as phones, laptops. If we took into account childrens’ emotions, desires, the would be less addicted. Parents are able to join them to the different clubs, help them to find their hobbies. My little cousin was dependent on artificial intelligence. However by dipping his marks, his mom gave him to the chess section. So now, he limits himself and performs well. To draw the conclusion, one can say that technological items are essential, however it is not so rosy. Although, I strongly believe that problem will be decisive in the near future.
Technological devices have revolutionized the world for whole type pf
people
,
especially
for
children
by changing time. With intervention artificial intelligence everything
has to
be done
rapidly
and
effortlessly
. Unfortunately, this new type of living is not desirable, it has
own
edges and drawbacks.

Foremost, technological product is harmful for health. Nowadays, the
children
spend their time by sitting on the internet and follow sedentary lifestyle. Depending on computer or other devices demonstrate that you are distancing from friends and family. Altering human beings’ and their
children
behaviour
are going to seem on their future. Opportunity of losing significant things tend to depression and sadness.

A possible solution of this problem would be limiting electronic devices, such as phones, laptops. If we took into account
childrens
’ emotions, desires,
the
would be less addicted. Parents are able to
join
them to the
different
clubs,
help them to find
their hobbies. My
little
cousin was dependent on artificial intelligence.
However
by dipping his marks, his mom gave him to the chess section.
So
now
, he limits himself and performs well.

To draw the conclusion, one can say that technological items are essential,
however
it is not
so
rosy.
Although
, I
strongly
believe that problem will be decisive in the near future.
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IELTS essay Technological devices have revolutionized the world for whole type pf people, especially for children by changing time

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
209 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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