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Technological advancement such as mobile phones are making people socially far apart. Do you agree or diagree??

Technological advancement such as mobile phones are making people socially far apart. Do you agree or diagree? ? Dl0jp
Difference in opinion is there on the thought that technological advancements like cell phones are making people far apart socially. I strongly disagree with this argument as these phones tend to bond us together even when we are sitting miles away from our nears and dears. From ages, we are using landline phones and mobiles are merely the improved version of that through which we can communicate with our loved ones, be in conscious of every field's news broadcast through internet and of course our so much trending applications like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram and numerous more by which we are able to connect with our old friends by applying some filters, who we missed out a long time ago in our school, college or university. These softwares made the task of finding a piece of cake. In the olden times we sent our feelings, memories vide letters and it takes weeks or months to reach destination on the contrary now we are merely a click away to update our status and it reaches to our contacts instantaneously. In this pandemic era of COVID-19 people who are quarantined this electronic gazette phone turns out to be a most sympathetic innovation to which they relied on for at least 17 days. They were bridged through this to their well-wishers. To conclude, this continuous evolution in the automation played a noteworthy role to keep intact our social togetherness. Moreover, this stands out to be a boon for human beings.
Difference in opinion is there on the
thought
that technological advancements like cell
phones
are making
people
far apart
socially
. I
strongly
disagree with this argument as these
phones
tend to bond us together even when we are sitting miles away from our nears and dears.

From ages, we are using landline
phones
and mobiles are
merely
the
improved
version of that through which we can communicate with our
loved
ones, be in conscious of every field's news broadcast through internet and
of course
our
so
much trending applications like Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram and numerous more by which we are able to connect with our
old
friends by applying
some
filters, who we missed out a long time ago in our school, college or university. These
softwares
made the task of finding a piece of cake.

In the olden times we
sent
our feelings, memories vide letters and it takes weeks or months to reach destination
on the contrary
now
we are
merely
a click away to update our status and it reaches to our contacts
instantaneously
. In this pandemic era of COVID-19
people
who
are quarantined
this electronic gazette
phone
turns out to be a most sympathetic innovation to which they relied on for at least 17 days. They
were bridged
through this to their well-wishers.

To conclude
, this continuous evolution in the automation played a noteworthy role to
keep
intact our social togetherness.
Moreover
, this stands out to be a boon for human beings.
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IELTS essay Technological advancement such as mobile phones are making people socially far apart. Do you agree or diagree? ?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 6.0
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