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What are the main environmental problems in your country?

What are the main environmental problems in your country? 56n0Q
The main environmental problem, which my country is facing, is that my country is “overpopulated”, and as such, it is straining our rather limited resources. We also have terrible air pollution in our cities because of the excessive level of smokes from the industries and vehicles. Then, my country is also facing the “global warming” problem, because of which, one part of my country becomes extremely hot during the summertime. Finally, we also have bad water contamination in our lakes, rivers and oceans because of industrial and plastic wastes.
The main environmental problem, which my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is facing, is that my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is “overpopulated”, and as such, it is straining our
rather
limited resources. We
also
have terrible air pollution in our cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the excessive level of smokes from the industries and vehicles. Then, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
also
facing the “global warming” problem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which, one part of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
becomes
extremely
hot during the
Consider using "summer".
summertime
.
Finally
, we
also
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
water contamination in our lakes, rivers and oceans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of industrial and plastic wastes.

IELTS essay What are the main environmental problems in your country?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
89 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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