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Team sports are general promoted as a great way to keep fit and build character. However, sporting events such as soccer matches are often accompanied by violence between rival supporters and other forms of antisocial behavior. If sporting events can lead to antisocial behavior, can team sports really be good for us?

Team sports are general promoted as a great way to keep fit and build character. However, sporting events such as soccer matches are often accompanied by violence between rival supporters and other forms of antisocial behavior. If sporting events can lead to antisocial behavior, can team sports really be good for us? PVR0w
Team sports are praised for promoting good health and building team spirit. However, the supporters of such sport teams lack sporting behaviour. They get involved in violent acts to support their teams leading to menace and other anti-social behaviour. Such acts are detrimental for the society as it disrupts peace and harmony in the community. Due to this, some people are raising questions on the positive impacts such sports events can have on the society. As per my opinion, though the spectator at times get involved in anti – social activities, it cannot eclipse the benefits these team sports bring about. Team sports and events are an occasion during which, all the community members come together leaving behind their difference’s basis caste, creed, colour or for that matter gender. The only religion they worship, is sports and togetherness. This has promoted a harmonious living amongst communities. To exemplify, recently during the cricket world cup finale, many spectators were from countries different from the countries of the players on ground. It sends about a message of unity and friendship, irrespective of the country to which they belonged to. Contact sports are also a great form of an entertainment, that promotes good health. Many children look up to the players and engage themselves in contact sports that help in their physical development. Such sport activities have also contributed towards development of inter personal skills along with good health of the people. To conclude, the community benefits of such team sport events outweigh the concerns over the anti-social behaviour of some fans. Such notorious acts are controllable, if the players of the team they idolise promote peace and unity. As such, it is imperative to have such events to keep oneness and well-being in the community.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are praised
for promoting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health and building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
spirit.
However
, the supporters of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
lack sporting
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in violent acts to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
leading to menace and other anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Such acts are detrimental for the society as it disrupts peace and harmony in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. Due to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are raising questions on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
can have on the society. As per my opinion, though the spectator at times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in anti
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
social activities, it cannot eclipse the benefits these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring about.

Team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are an occasion during which, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together leaving behind their difference’s basis caste, creed,
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
or for that matter gender. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
religion they worship, is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and togetherness. This has promoted a harmonious living amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. To exemplify, recently during the cricket world cup finale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
spectators were from countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from the countries of the players on ground. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
about a message of unity and friendship, irrespective of the country to which they belonged to.

Contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
also
a great form of an entertainment, that promotes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children look up to the players and engage themselves in contact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in their physical development. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities have
also
contributed towards development of
This word is normally spelled as one.
inter personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
health of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
benefits of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
outweigh the concerns over the anti-social
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fans. Such notorious acts are controllable, if the players of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
they
Possible spelling mistake. 'idolise' is British English.
idolise
promote peace and unity. As such, it is imperative to have such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
oneness and well-being in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
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IELTS essay Team sports are general promoted as a great way to keep fit and build character. However, sporting events such as soccer matches are often accompanied by violence between rival supporters and other forms of antisocial behavior. If sporting events can lead to antisocial behavior, can team sports really be good for us?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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