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Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not? da2o
Many people often determine success with how much someone have wealth, but in other hand there are other many more factors involved in individuals success. in this essay I will explain why I think that wealth is not an accurate measure of success and I will suggest another way to evaluate it. In my opinion, the amount of money a person has is not a good indicator of success because success is state of accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Although, many have struggles for success, even they have plenty of money. For example, Indian businessmen Mr. Ratan tata have Immense wealth and business infrastructure around the world but presently he is suffering with bad health due to having A brain tumor. So, clearly, success cannot be defined by a person earning a lot of money. An alternative way to measure success is good health. This is because a healthy individual can make lots of money and achieve their all desires of life. For instance, an American scientist and entrepreneur Mr. Elon Musk has a good health condition. therefore he achieved enormous wealth with space transportation and automobile business. However, he could not able to attain these credentials in his life without having a good health condition. thus, success can be asses of an individual by being healthiest life. I would like to conclude by saying that wealth is not a good parameter to measure individual success or how much they earned. even A person could be judged as a successful if they are living the healthiest possible life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
determine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
with how much someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in other hand there are other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more factors involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is not an accurate measure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and I will suggest another way to evaluate it.

In my opinion, the amount of money a person has is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
indicator of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is state of accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
have struggles for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, even they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money.
For example
, Indian businessmen Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ratan
Possible spelling mistake found.
tata
have Immense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
and business infrastructure around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
presently
he is suffering with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
due to having A brain tumor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
clearly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
cannot
be defined
by a person earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.

An alternative way to measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lots of money and achieve their all desires of life.
For instance
, an American scientist and entrepreneur Mr. Elon Musk has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
he achieved enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
with space transportation and automobile business.
However
, he could not able to attain these credentials in his life without having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
condition.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can be asses of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
by being
A determiner is probably missing here: "the healthiest".
healthiest
life.

I would like
to conclude
by saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
parameter to measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
or how much they earned.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
A person could
be judged
as a successful if they are living the healthiest possible life.
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IELTS essay Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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