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Even though doctors recommend old people to take more exercise, they do not exercise enough. What can be the reasons for old people not exercising enough? What will be your suggestions on that?

Even though doctors recommend old people to take more exercise, they do not exercise enough. What can be the reasons for old people not exercising enough? What will be your suggestions on that? PrDYE
Exercises have several positive effects on the elderly, so doctors recommend that the old people do it regularly. However, the real situation is that they do not follow doctors’ recommendations owing to the following reasons. To begin with, senior citizens' are not physically fit enough to do exercise regularly, reasoning that if these citizens do enough exercises, it demands a great deal of energy. Obviously, their physical status cannot fulfil this high energy consumption of activities due to aging issues. To illustrate, my grandmother always sleeps all day, because she gets tired easily: and she is afraid of getting injured if she does exercise at home. Hence, certain people would think that doing exercises might have drawbacks. Additionally, maintaining healthy lifestyles is not their first priority. They may be concerned about a financial issue, since they should have enough money to support their lives. To illustrate, according to ample research by the Oxford institute, the elderly are more concerned about their money issue than their health. It reflects that insecurity sealed in their minds, which may be explained by the modern society change. Hence, their concerns may neglect their healthy lifestyles. As a consequence, they are not interested in doing exercise regularly. Last but not least, encouraging the elderly to keep fit is a crucial plan, because it can improve their health, consequently governments can cut down on investing funds in medical services for the elderly. Therefore, certain programs can be launched in communities, including swimming or jogging classes. Furthermore, the courses can provide certain opportunities for them to meet new friends. Hence, it can enhance their motivation to join classes, and they finally can do exercises. In conclusion, the elderly do not do enough exercise because of their physical status and worrying about the money issue. Therefore, governments can provide more resources in communities to motivate the old citizens to do exercises.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Exercises
have several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
doctors recommend that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do it
regularly
.
However
, the real situation is that they do not follow doctors’ recommendations owing to the following reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, senior citizens' are not
physically
fit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
, reasoning that if these citizens do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
, it demands a great deal of energy.
Obviously
, their physical status cannot fulfil this high energy consumption of activities due to aging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. To illustrate, my grandmother always sleeps all day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
tired
easily
: and she is afraid of getting injured if she does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
at home.
Hence
, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
might have drawbacks.

Additionally
, maintaining healthy lifestyles is not their
first
priority. They may
be concerned
about a financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
, since they should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
money to support their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To illustrate, according to ample research by the Oxford institute, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
are more concerned about their money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
than their health. It reflects that insecurity sealed in their minds, which may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the modern society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Hence
, their concerns may neglect their healthy lifestyles. As a consequence, they are not interested in doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
regularly
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit is a crucial plan,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health,
consequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on investing funds in medical services for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
.
Therefore
, certain programs can
be launched
in communities, including swimming or jogging classes.
Furthermore
, the courses can provide certain opportunities for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends.
Hence
, it can enhance their motivation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
classes, and they
finally
can do exercises.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
do not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their physical status and worrying about the money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can provide more resources in communities to motivate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
citizens to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
.
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IELTS essay Even though doctors recommend old people to take more exercise, they do not exercise enough. What can be the reasons for old people not exercising enough? What will be your suggestions on that?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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