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Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most co v.1

Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most co v. 1
It is a fact that many developed countries, as well as developing countries, are prone to rise in the rate of crime. Certainly, there has been dramatically increasing in the offence for the present time. However, the intensity of the crime cannot be tolerated, where it becomes more violent. This is mainly due to illiterate people in society, and it could be reduced to a very extent with the help of the government. There are various valid reasons for increasing the number of criminals, but in my point of view, this is because of literal individuals in the nation. To commence with, the first priority of people has to earn money, and without education and specific skill, it may difficult to earn money in this competitive era. As a result, individuals have to find other sources of income in order to fulfil their basic needs. Along with, criminal activities are considered as a convenient method to raise a family and carry out all needs. Therefore, lawbreakers are willing to do the crime. In addition, offenders are always trying to hide their small crime by having to do a serious crime. Murders, kidnapping, break the public and government properties and many more are the example of violent extension, which may be done for taking revenge. For instance, a recent study found that the majority of illiterate criminals are doing a violent activity for taking revenge on their small crime punishment. Owing to this, sometimes a big price has to be paid by the country dweller. On the other hand, to tackle the serious consequences, it may be difficult to handle this violence without taking measures of government. Firstly, the government should considerably develop a backward area, where the literacy rate is very low. Thus, by constructing better education facilities, rising the industrial area and many other facilities, which may help to reduce illegal activity in slum areas. Secondly, the government should impose strict rules and regulation against crimes and also alternate the punishment policy. In many countries, police officers may not be free to take rigorous action against criminal activity, due to sections and rules of the government. Therefore, the majority of lawbreakers can easily escape from imprisonment. If the government authorities do modification in this policy, it would contribute to declining more violent crime in society. To sum up, although criminal activities and their intensity are being increased in many countries. This is because of uneducated society, and feeble rules. However, it can be reduced by developing resources in a vulnerable area and giving more freedom to government authorities and in a charge police officer.
It is a fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
as well
as developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, are prone to rise in the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
Certainly
, there has been
dramatically
increasing in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
for the present time.
However
, the intensity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cannot
be tolerated
, where it becomes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
. This is
mainly
due to illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society, and it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
extent with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

There are various valid reasons for increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my point of view, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of literal individuals in the nation. To commence with, the
first
priority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
earn money, and without education and specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
, it
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
may difficult
to earn money in this competitive era.
As a result
, individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
find other sources of income in order to fulfil their basic needs. Along with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are considered
as a convenient method to raise a family and carry out all needs.
Therefore
, lawbreakers are willing to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
In addition
, offenders are always trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
by having to do a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Murders, kidnapping, break the public and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
properties and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more are the example of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
extension, which may
be done
for taking revenge.
For instance
, a recent study found that the majority of illiterate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are doing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for taking revenge on their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
punishment. Owing to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be paid
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
dweller.

On the other hand
, to tackle the serious consequences, it may be difficult to handle this violence without taking measures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
considerably
develop a backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, where the literacy rate is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low.
Thus
, by constructing better education facilities, rising the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other facilities, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in slum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should impose strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulation against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
also
alternate the punishment policy. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, police officers may not be free to take rigorous action against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, due to sections and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Therefore
, the majority of lawbreakers can
easily
escape from imprisonment. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
authorities do modification in this policy, it would contribute to declining more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in society.

To sum up, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and their intensity are
being increased
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of uneducated society, and feeble
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
However
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by developing resources in a vulnerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and giving more freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
authorities and in a charge police officer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Teachers' salaries should be based on their students' academic performance. Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the claim. In developing and supporting your position, be sure to address the most co v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
435 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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