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Taxes for the healthcare

Taxes for the healthcare 9aNm7
Over the last two hundred years, there have been many changes to society in nearly all aspects of people's lives. ACcordingly, in our modern era, every individual pays taxes for healthcare to the government, therefore I totally agree that state should take care of public's health conditions. To initiate with, there are many reasons why medical aids must be provided for every citizen whether they are poor or rich. Because, inhabitants are the first value and nation wealth, thus, quality of government's concern always will be seen on the level of its public. For example, in our country, each citizen has the right receive guaranteed medical assistance and right to secure health without paying money provided that they are civilian of Kazakhstan. Consequently, level of health high enough. On the other side of the coin, work must be paid in order to maintain budget of state. However, people need to be aware of the requirements so that they can avoid this problem with taxes. In addition, government could also help to the elder generation who especially need special attention to their health problems. This is often leads to keep level of wealth and health. To conclude, taking all things into account I strongly believe that wellness values have its own importance thus, person must be provided with well health conditions. Considering that value of safety appears to increase year after year due to the possible pandemic situations as happens now. Because, health is the crucial challenge confronting the world at the present time.
Over the last two hundred years, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to society in
nearly
all aspects of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACcordingly
, in our modern era, every individual pays taxes for healthcare to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
therefore
I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that state should take care of public's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions.

To initiate with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why medical aids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
for every citizen whether they are poor or rich.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, inhabitants are the
first
value and nation wealth,
thus
, quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's concern
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'will' and 'be'.
always will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the level of its public.
For example
, in our country, each citizen has the right receive guaranteed medical assistance and right to secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
without paying money provided that they are civilian of Kazakhstan.
Consequently
, level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

On the other side of the coin, work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be paid
in order to maintain budget of state.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to be aware of the requirements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can avoid this problem with taxes.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the elder generation who
especially
need special attention to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
level of wealth and health.

To conclude
, taking all things into account I
strongly
believe that wellness values have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance
thus
, person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be provided
with well
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions. Considering that value of safety appears to increase year after year due to the possible pandemic situations as happens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the crucial challenge confronting the world at the present time.

IELTS essay Taxes for the healthcare

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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