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Task2- When you are in need for information, which following access do you prefer? Asking help from instructors or using books and the internet. Please use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.1

Task2- When you are in need for information, which following access do you prefer? Asking help from instructors or using books and the internet. Please use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1
Some people these days tend to bring families on business trips. Having family members together when they are far away would certainly tighten their relationships, but there will also be some drawbacks. The main advantage of this trend is that it allows working people to give consideration to their family. They are able to involve in the upbringing of children, and participate major family events such as birthday parties, annual ceremonies. In addition, they can have more time to take good care of their parents in case any unexpected situation happens. If they are far away from home, it may be impossible for them to be present whenever necessary. Furthermore, family members can also get advantages from travelling around the countries. They can broaden their horizons with experience different cultures, and also enjoy foreign cities’ land view. On the other hand, there are some disadvantages to bring family on an official trip. Firstly, it can have a negative impact on their work. Showing family around cities and helping them get familiar with the new places may take up their working hours, so that they may fail to perform work tasks in time and meet the company’s requirement. Secondly, family members may feel lonely living in a strange place where they have no friends, and the language barriers may make them feel stressful and isolated. In conclusion, there are some plus points to bring the blood relatives on the business trip, but people should carefully balance the work and their personal life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
these days tend to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
on business trips. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members together when they are far away would
certainly
tighten their relationships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there will
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

The main advantage of this trend is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to give consideration to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. They are able to involve in the upbringing of children, and participate major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
such as birthday parties, annual ceremonies.
In addition
, they can have more time to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of their parents in case any unexpected situation happens. If they are far away from home, it may be impossible for them to be present whenever necessary.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantages from travelling around the countries. They can broaden their horizons with experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, and
also
enjoy foreign cities’ land view.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
on an official trip.
Firstly
, it can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their work. Showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
around cities and helping them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the new places may take up their working hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they may fail to perform work tasks in time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s requirement.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members may feel lonely living in a strange place where they have no friends, and the language barriers may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel stressful and isolated.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plus points to bring the blood relatives on the business trip,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
carefully
balance the work and their personal life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Task2- When you are in need for information, which following access do you prefer? Asking help from instructors or using books and the internet. Please use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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