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It is often argued that the group of residents’ assume that in learning institutes, an exercise lectures ought to be mandatorily added on daily schedule v.1

It is often argued that the group of residents’ assume that in learning institutes, an exercise lectures ought to be mandatorily added on daily schedule v. 1
It is undeniable that obesity has become one of the major concerns these days. Therefore, it is considered to be a stress on health care services. While some people contend that the inculcation of more physical education classes in the schools is the only way to tackle the problem of putting on weight. This essay will argue why these lessons are entirely necessary despite some other measures. To begin with, there are quite a few reasons why people demand to impart the instructions related to physical health in the classroom teaching. Because these would encourage the learners to avoid sedentary lifestyle and get involved in multiple physical activities. Ultimately, education would drag them from the detrimental habits and they will keep themselves fit and healthy by doing exercises, taking part in sports and much more. Indeed, there have been some recorded instances of children being involved in healthy lifestyle due to the introduction of classes which promotes the health conscious among children. These few instances make it clear that the role of physical education is far more advantageous to reduce the growing problem of obesity. Despite this, along with the teaching of physical education, the development of healthy eating habits is also an incredible solution to deal with the issue of putting on weight. It is seen that most of the population, especially young generation has been relying on junk food or high calorie food which makes them obese and obesity is the root-cause of various hazardous diseases. This problem of overweight could be controlled by changing dietary patterns. For example, one research article suggests that 70% of people are getting obese just due to consumption of unhealthy food items. Overall, the idea of healthy and nutritious diet is completely necessary and could potentially lead towards the sound health. To conclude, this essay argued that people who favours to include the physical education lessons in school studies have an entire understanding that these could be fruitful for the healthy lifestyle. In my opinion, physical education is an absolute imperative, including some changes in one's diet.
It is undeniable that obesity has become one of the major concerns these days.
Therefore
, it
is considered
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on health care services.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that the inculcation of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
classes in the schools is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to tackle the problem of putting on weight. This essay will argue why these lessons are
entirely
necessary despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other measures.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are quite a few reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demand to impart the instructions related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health in the classroom teaching.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
these would encourage the learners to avoid sedentary lifestyle and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities.
Ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
would drag them from the detrimental
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
habits and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves fit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
by doing exercises, taking part in sports and much more.
Indeed
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recorded instances of children
being involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle due to the introduction of classes which promotes the health conscious among children. These few instances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is far more advantageous to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the growing problem of obesity.

Despite this, along with the teaching of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating habits is
also
an incredible solution to deal with the issue of putting on weight. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the population,
especially
young generation has been relying on junk food or high calorie food which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them obese and obesity is the root-cause of various hazardous diseases. This problem of overweight could
be controlled
by changing dietary patterns.
For example
, one research article suggests that 70% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting obese
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
due to consumption of unhealthy food items.
Overall
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
and nutritious diet is completely necessary and could
potentially
lead towards the sound health.

To conclude
, this essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "favour"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
favours
to include the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
lessons in school studies have an entire understanding that these could be fruitful for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is an absolute imperative, including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in one's diet.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is often argued that the group of residents’ assume that in learning institutes, an exercise lectures ought to be mandatorily added on daily schedule v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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