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Task to it is stated that most of the famous people who were there on the screen of television and articles are in the shattered by common people this essay will discuss why and where force of this Trend and explain why I think it is not acceptable thing

Task to it is stated that most of the famous people who were there on the screen of television and articles are in the shattered by common people this essay will discuss why and where force of this Trend and explain why I think it is not acceptable thing MyXXk
Considering, the fact about why ordinary people prefer to copy famous people from television and magazine one of the prominent reason can be traced of popularity to explain it maturity of people dream that as they adopt the lifestyle of famous people they can become popular among these friends. For example, if one of the fan of an actor name Shahrukh Khan wear clothes like him, he will gain more attention from their peers. Another remarkable reason can be luxurious lifestyle. In other words, a number of people follow actor and actress because they want to know survival life with high status. By copying them, they won't buy expensive clothes card as well as range of fans. Therefore owing to that reason people tend to adopt the lifestyle of famous people. When it comes to discussing about whether it is positive trend or negative. There are many factors which makes it really negative. As, it can cause numerous detrimental consequences. In explanation, when people initiate famous people they definitely requires a big chunk of money that's why many a people can be come under the death which is a root cause of mental stress by virtue of that stress sometimes people commit suicide. For example, A survey was conducted by Indian police department revealed that in many cases people died due to eating poison because they are feared about how they will manage their disturbed financial budget which day damage for the sake of luxurious life. As a result, it can be supposed that initiation of famous people can be harmful for common people In conclusion, having consideration over the aforementioned information people should not copy popular people for gaining popularity and comfortable lifestyle. However they should try to become famous on their own basis.
Considering, the fact about why ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to copy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from television and magazine one of the prominent reason can
be traced
of popularity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it maturity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dream that as they adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they can become popular among these friends.
For example
, if one of the fan of an actor name
Possible spelling mistake found.
Shahrukh
Khan wear clothes like him, he will gain more attention from their peers. Another remarkable reason can be luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
In other words
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow actor and actress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to know survival life with high status. By copying them, they won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive clothes card
as well
as range of fans.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
owing to that reason
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
Did you mean simply "discussing whether"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about whether
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
, it can cause numerous detrimental consequences. In explanation, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
initiate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they definitely
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "require"
requires
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chunk of money that's why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under the death which is a root cause of mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
by virtue of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit suicide.
For example
, A survey
was conducted
by Indian police department revealed that in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
due to eating poison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are feared
about how they will manage their disturbed financial budget which day damage for the sake of luxurious life.
As a result
, it can
be supposed
that initiation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be harmful for common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


In conclusion
, having consideration over the aforementioned information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not copy popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for gaining popularity and comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
they should try to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
basis.
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IELTS essay Task to it is stated that most of the famous people who were there on the screen of television and articles are in the shattered by common people this essay will discuss why and where force of this Trend and explain why I think it is not acceptable thing

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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