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Task 2 , writing, skilled employees

Task 2 , writing, skilled employees n1pwe
Undoubtedly, employees are the vital part of an organization. It is a fact that the a hard working, dedicated workers contribute to the growth and achievement of an association. Hence several measures should be implemented so that the staff will work efficiently. To commence with, the working environment should be necessary. Firstly, the company should provide a safe and conducive kind of work place with an adequate facility, such as, hygienic washrooms, proper lightning, an accessible pantry or eatery and a station room where they can rest if its resting break. Admittedly, a better surroundings prevent the mind from distractions. Secondly, the workers will be able to focus more at work which will lead to a better result. Lastly, it is essential to consider the safety and comfort of an employee so that they will feel satisfaction at work knowing the company will forsake their basic commodities that they are entitled to have. Furthermore, businesses should assure their staff that they will show their support in terms of their needs as much as the team can comply with it. Therefore, company owners should offer financial support and insurance. Health benefits, for instance, prioritizing the health of worker is important, as well as their first degree family member, as much as the company is able to provide it. Also, assisting staff in applying for loans with a convenient terms of payment. In this case, it will promote a good rapport between a company and an employee, knowing they are secured in terms of basic necessities. Moreover, the staff appraisal system should also be implemented, this plays an important part to encourage the labourer to exert more effort and more productive. In conclusion, it is evident that the a company will achieve a good reputation and a great success in a business owing to the diligence staffs. Indeed, employees play a remarkable part to have a successful business.
Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are the vital part of an organization. It is a fact that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
, dedicated workers contribute to the growth and achievement of an association.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
several measures should
be implemented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
.

To commence with, the working environment should be necessary.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should provide a safe and conducive kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
place with an adequate facility, such as, hygienic washrooms, proper lightning, an accessible pantry or eatery and a station room where they can rest if its resting break.
Admittedly
, a better surroundings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the mind from distractions.
Secondly
, the workers will be able to focus more at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which will lead to a better result.
Lastly
, it is essential to consider the safety and comfort of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will feel satisfaction at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
knowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will forsake their basic commodities that they
are entitled
to have.

Furthermore
, businesses should assure their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their support in terms of their needs as much as the team can comply with it.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
owners should offer financial support and insurance. Health benefits,
for instance
, prioritizing the health of worker is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
as well
as their
first
degree family member, as much as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is able to provide it.
Also
, assisting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
in applying for loans with a convenient
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "term"?
terms
of payment.
In this case
, it will promote a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rapport between a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
, knowing they
are secured
in terms of
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staff
appraisal system should
also
be implemented
, this plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part to encourage the
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourer
to exert more effort and more productive.

In conclusion
, it is evident that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "a" is left.
the a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will achieve a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation and a great success in a business owing to the diligence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
staffs
.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
play a remarkable part to have a successful business.
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IELTS essay Task 2 , writing, skilled employees

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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