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Task 2: Today family members do not eat meals together. Why? Is this a positive

Task 2: Today family members do not eat meals together. Why? Is this a positive 1mO8y
It is true that there is now a disappointingly small number of family gatherings. This state of affairs can be attributed to several factors, and I believe that this is an unwelcome development. There are two main factors behind the decline of family meals, which is the working schedule of parents and the growing attention to social networking of their offsprings. WIth regard to the former, it is the 9-to-5 work culture in many Western countries that makes adults have little or no free time to spend with other family members because they have to deal with conferences, paperwork or team projects in the workplace. Added to this is the 996 work culture in some nations such as China or Japan that forces employees to work straight from 9 in the morning until 9 P. M from Monday to Saturday, which means they have to sacrifice almost of their leisure activities and breaks for lunch or dinner, therefore it causes the work-life imbalance among the working adults. With regard to the latter, teenagers these days are more attracted to social media and online networking platforms such as Facebook because they can interact and meet new people, so they no longer feel excited with conventional gatherings with boring small talks. In light of the aforementioned causes behind this phenomenon, I believe that they render this trend negative. Parents would have to suffer from severe health problems due to hectic and stressful working schedules. There is a growing number of middle-aged white-collar workers diagnosed with indigestion or obesity because they have little time for lunch and have to eat fast food instead of cooking healthy dishes at home or low blood pressure due to the lack of daily workouts. To make matters worse, children are the most adversely affected by this trend since good family relationships play a vital role in children’s early development. This can be seen in the growing number of juvenile outlaws in many countries, committing many crimes from shoplifting, vandalism to kidnapping or serial killing, and most of them are found to have suffered from child neglect at a very young age. As a result, this trend may cause many harms to the younger generations and society as a whole In conclusion, the trend that family members don’t eat together is attributable to adults’ work-life imbalance and the shift of interest of children towards modern socialising platforms. Given the dangers this trend poses to individuals’ well-being and social stability.
It is true that there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a
disappointingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
gatherings. This state of affairs can
be attributed
to several factors, and I believe that this is an unwelcome development.

There are two main factors behind the decline of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
meals, which is the working schedule of parents and the growing attention to social networking of their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "offspring", the plural form of the noun 'offspring'?
offsprings
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
WIth
regard to the former, it is the 9-to-5 work culture in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Western countries that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
adults have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no free time to spend with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with conferences, paperwork or team projects in the workplace.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to this is the 996 work culture in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations such as China or Japan that forces employees to work straight from 9 in the morning until 9 P. M from Monday to Saturday, which means they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice almost of their leisure activities and breaks for lunch or dinner,
therefore
it causes the work-life imbalance among the working adults. With regard to the latter,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
these days are more attracted to social media and online networking platforms such as Facebook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can interact and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they no longer feel excited with conventional gatherings with boring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
talks.

In light of the aforementioned causes behind this phenomenon, I believe that they render this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. Parents would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from severe health problems due to hectic and stressful working schedules. There is a growing number of middle-aged white-collar workers diagnosed with indigestion or obesity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time for lunch and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food
instead
of cooking healthy dishes at home or low blood pressure due to the lack of daily workouts. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, children are the most
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
since
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationships play a vital role in children’s early development. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the growing number of juvenile outlaws in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, committing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crimes from shoplifting, vandalism to kidnapping or serial killing, and most of them
are found
to have suffered from child neglect at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
As a result
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
harms to the younger generations and society as a whole

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members don’t eat together is attributable to adults’ work-life imbalance and the shift of interest of children towards modern
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
platforms.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
poses to individuals’ well-being and social stability.
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IELTS essay Task 2: Today family members do not eat meals together. Why? Is this a positive

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
411 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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