Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Task 2 Some people prefer to stay on campus While others want to rent a house off campus Which do you prefer Use specific reasons and examples

Task 2 Some people prefer to stay on campus While others want to rent a house off campus Which do you prefer Use specific reasons and examples OVnbG
Young adults who turn legal age have the right to decide their own lives including determining where to live without depending on their parents. However, some people are arduously weighing the benefits between staying on campus and renting a house off-campus. As for me, I lean on the idea that it is more appropriate for students to rent a house during their university lives due to some rational reasons. First of all, most college students admitted that the cost and price of renting a house are much cheaper than using the school's dormitory. This is because the price of staying in the dormitory has included food and drink cost; students can use the school's canteen for their breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Nevertheless, some students do not need this expense because the canteen’s beverages do not match their gout; as a result, they just found themselves wasting money on things that they even dislike. On the contrary, living alone in a rented house allows young adults to cook meals by themselves which relies on their favorite appetite. Therefore, a myriad of oppositions related to a rule in every American university that freshmen have to stay on campus during their first year eventuates consistently. Due to this rule, my brother, in spite of loosening the pace of catching American food, had to endure unsuitable dishes which led to his thinner looks up to one year. Secondly, sexual assaults are one of the most concerning problems for those who stay on campus. It has been reported that sexual assaults occur owing to implicit alcohol parties that take place on school campuses. When the juvenile gets drunk, there are chances of unwanted sexual activity from unwanted touching to rape to happen toward participants. Unfortunately, sexual attacks on campus leave students suffering from depression; victims are likely to form antisocial behaviors, self-overprotected, and it is extremely harsh for students to reintegrate into society. To illustrate, my teacher was once a victim of sexual assaults on campus. She narrated that the incident left an indelible mark in her mind and took her a long time to strip off her shell. In conclusion, I believe that every type of accommodation, somehow, has its own advantages. However, I appreciate students renting a house off-campus so that they can truly “live their own lives” as well as avoid sexual attacks. Furthermore, I call for education about sex in schools in order to reduce the number of sexual abuse cases now that education is the most powerful weapon to change this pathetic reality.
Young adults who turn legal age have the right to decide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
including determining where to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without depending on their parents.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
arduously
weighing the benefits between staying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
and renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
off-campus. As for me, I lean on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is more appropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to rent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
during their university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rational reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, most college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
admitted that the cost and price of renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
are much cheaper than using the school's dormitory. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the price of staying in the dormitory has included food and drink cost;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the school's canteen for their breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not need this expense
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the canteen’s beverages do not match their gout;
as a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
found themselves wasting money on things that they even dislike.
On the contrary
, living alone in a rented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
young adults to cook meals by themselves which relies on their favorite appetite.
Therefore
, a myriad of oppositions related to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in every American university that freshmen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
during their
first
year eventuates
consistently
. Due to this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, my brother,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
loosening the pace of catching American food, had to endure unsuitable dishes which led to his thinner looks up to one year.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
assaults are one of the most concerning problems for those who stay on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
. It has
been reported
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
assaults occur owing to implicit alcohol parties that take place on school campuses. When the juvenile
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
drunk, there are chances of unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
activity from unwanted touching to rape to happen toward participants. Unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
attacks on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
suffering from depression; victims are likely to form antisocial behaviors, self-overprotected, and it is
extremely
harsh for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to reintegrate into society. To illustrate, my teacher was once a victim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
assaults on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
campus
. She narrated that the incident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
an indelible mark in her mind and took her a long time to strip off her shell.

In conclusion
, I believe that every type of accommodation, somehow, has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages.
However
, I appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
renting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
off-campus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
truly
“
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives”
as well
as avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
attacks.
Furthermore
, I call for education about sex in schools in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sexual
abuse cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that education is the most powerful weapon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
this pathetic reality.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Task 2 Some people prefer to stay on campus While others want to rent a house off campus Which do you prefer Use specific reasons and examples

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
423 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Task 2 Some people prefer to stay on campus While others want to rent a house off campus Which do you prefer Use specific reasons and examples