Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is better to take risks and explore new things when you are older than when you are young Do you agree or disagree Please provide reasons and examples to support your answer

It is better to take risks and explore new things when you are older than when you are young Please provide reasons and examples to support your answer XG3bN
People often possess different perspectives on whether it is better to take risks and explore new things when they are older than they are young. As for me, I strongly disagree that it is better to take risks and explore new things when I am older. First of all, taking risks and exploring new things needs curiosity, and I am more curious when I am younger. For example, when my father was 25, he was interested in hazardous sports. He engaged in different dangerous sports, such as mountain climbing, diving and so on. As a result, he had experienced various high-risk activities when he was young. However, my father was 50 now. Last week I asked him to do bouldering together. He refused me because the stress of life exhausted his heart. Apparently, my father did not have any curiosity for a dangerous activity or a new thing when he was older. Secondly, to take risks, I have to be energetic, and I have more energy when I am young. For instance, when I was 22, I started bouldering. I went to boulder twice a week. Besides, I took personal training class once a week to strengthen my muscles. Therefore, I finished five difficult courses in only one month. On the other hand, when I was older, I would become lazy, and I were not willing to do high strength exercises. Hence, I could not identify myself because I lost energy to do other training. Last but not least, exploring new things needs freedom, and I have more freedom when I am young. Take my sister Vivian for example, when she was young, she joined different clubs to learn new things. Moreover, she was not married, so she did not need to take care for the family. Accordingly, she could attend various activities freely. Nevertheless, after she got married and had two kids, her time was tied by her family. She had to pick up the child, prepare meals, and clean the house. Thus, she could not explore new knowledge literally. In conclusion, I totally disagree that it is better to take risks and explore new things when you are older. After all, when I am young, I have am curious, energetic and free to take risks and explore new things.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives on whether it is better to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things when they are older than they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. As for me, I
strongly
disagree that it is better to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things when I am older.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things needs curiosity, and I am more curious when I am younger.
For example
, when my father was 25, he
was interested
in hazardous sports. He engaged in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
sports, such as mountain climbing, diving and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
As a result
, he had experienced various high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
activities when he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
However
, my father was 50
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Last week I asked him to do bouldering together. He refused me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of life exhausted his heart.
Apparently
, my father did not have any curiosity for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
activity or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing when he was older.

Secondly
, to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be energetic, and I have more energy when I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
.
For instance
, when I was 22, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
bouldering. I went to boulder twice a week.
Besides
, I took personal training
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
once a week to strengthen my muscles.
Therefore
, I finished five difficult courses in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one month.
On the other hand
, when I was older, I would become lazy, and I were not willing to do high strength exercises.
Hence
, I could not identify myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I lost energy to do other training.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things needs freedom, and I have more freedom when I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. Take my sister Vivian
for example
, when she was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
clubs to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
Moreover
, she was not married,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she did not need to take care for the family.
Accordingly
, she could attend various activities
freely
.
Nevertheless
, after she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married and had two kids, her time
was tied
by her family. She had to pick up the child, prepare meals, and clean the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
.
Thus
, she could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
knowledge
literally
.

In conclusion
, I
totally
disagree that it is better to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things when you are older.
After all
, when I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
, I have
Use past participle here: "been".
am
curious, energetic and free to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay It is better to take risks and explore new things when you are older than when you are young Please provide reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    People will spend less time on cooking food in twenty years later
    Cooking has always been a populate issue. There are even more and more cooking shows, teaching people how to cook delicious food or cook quickly. Some people think that people will spend more time on cooking because the world becomes more health-conscious. If you cook food by yourself, you can choos...
  • 6band
    Selling fossils to private collectors
    Both reading and speaking discuss about the fossils that collectors have been selling. The reading claims that this action is not fair and the scientists and general people don’t have access to some certain fossils. However, the listening says that these claims is not true and they are exaggerating ...
  • 6.5band
    Three ways for controlling cane toads in order not to over populate in Australia
    Both of the reading and listening discuss whether the methods for reducing the number of the cone toads is useful or not. The reading passage states that following method are helpful. In contrast, the professor rejects all the them by introducing some evidence. Firstly, the reading passage claims t...
  • 6.5band
    working as team versus working alone
    By and large, it is established beyond doubt that humans are social animals and can not survive without each other. In this regard, working as a team is of paramount importance. It is a famous saying that intelligence wins games but teamwork wins the championship. There are different schools of thou...
  • 6band
    Where do you think the government should invest less in a difficult economic situation in arts parks and public gardens or scientific researc
    By and large, it is established beyond doubt that a balanced economical infrastructure is of paramount importance for the development and advancement of a country. In this regard, governments are paying attention to the establishment of various sectors in the country, such as art, technological rese...
  • 6.5band
    Children can learn by reading books as much as watching movies agree disagree
    Children can learn by reading books as much as watching movies. . agree disagree By and large, it is established beyond doubt that with the advent in technology and modernization in world, parents are more eager to educate their children. In this regard, learning strategies and procedures are of pa...





Get more results for topic:
  • It is better to take risks and explore new things when you are older than when you are young Do you agree or disagree Please provide reasons and examples to support your answer