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Talk about your unforgettable experience in life.

Talk about your unforgettable experience in life. OgV67
It was a terrible day even now I was cringe. Close to my home, there is a waterfall with a strong flow. People built a dam on it and made it became a lake. It was a sunny day when I decided to get to that waterfall with my friends. We climbed to the top of it which had become a lake. In there, we held a race that we swam to the opposite bank of the lake. It happened when I reached the bank and look back, I saw that the slowest boy suddenly was drifted along with the water flow. He too weak to swam through the flow so that he drifted along with it. Immediately, I shouted out, and the fastest one jumped out. He caught that boy and supported him to get to the bank. Then I threw a vine I had picked up nearby. The two caught it and were pulled out of the lake. My heart beats fast on all that day and whenever I remember about it. It was an unforgettable experience in my life.
It was a terrible day even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I was cringe. Close to my home, there is a waterfall with a strong flow.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
built a dam on it and made it became a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
. It was a sunny day when I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to that waterfall with my friends. We climbed to the top of it which had become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
. In there, we held a race that we swam to the opposite bank of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
. It happened when I reached the bank and look back, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
that the slowest boy
suddenly
was drifted
along with the water flow.
It seems that a verb is missing.
He
too weak to swam through the flow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he drifted along with it. Immediately, I shouted out, and the fastest one jumped out. He caught that boy and supported him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to the bank. Then I threw a vine I had picked up nearby. The two caught it and
were pulled
out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lake
. My heart beats
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
on all that day and whenever I remember about it. It was an unforgettable experience in my life.
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IELTS essay Talk about your unforgettable experience in life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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