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Talk about your hobbies, which you usually do in your freetime

Talk about your hobbies, which you usually do in your freetime OgyPE
I like to be engaged in different types of activities, especially going swimming, which is known as one of the healthiest sports. I took up this hobby when I was knee-high to a grasshopper as I thought it was a good way to get myself into shape. Up to now, I have never forgotten the first time I went swimming. I shook like a leaf because I was afraid of drowning. But after practicing on a regular basis, I do not get butterflies in my stomach anymore. Now I usually go swimming every morning with my cousin as I am the definition of an early bird. I can say that going swimming is a great stress buster and it makes me feel as free as a fish whenever I am in the water.
I like to
be engaged
in
different
types of activities,
especially
going swimming, which
is known
as one of the healthiest sports. I took up this hobby when I was knee-high to a grasshopper as I
thought
it was a
good
way to
get
myself into shape. Up to
now
, I have never forgotten the
first
time I went swimming. I shook like a leaf
because
I was afraid of drowning.
But
after practicing on a regular basis, I do not
get
butterflies in my stomach anymore.
Now
I
usually
go swimming every morning with my cousin as I am the definition of an early bird. I can say that going swimming is a great
stress
buster and it
makes
me feel as free as a fish whenever I am in the water.
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IELTS essay Talk about your hobbies, which you usually do in your freetime

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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