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Some parents go abroad for work, taking their families with them. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents go abroad for work, taking their families with them. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Lw1OG
Opinions are divided on whether some parents can take their families when going abroad for work. Relevant to this, I think the advantage of working overseas with family overshadow the disadvantage involved. On the one hand, if some spouses take their family with them when working abroad, there will be possible drawbacks in terms of secure or living conditions. Taking cognizance of the first idea, mothers or fathers take their children to a war-torn country, which mean that they are likely put their juveniles in danger owing to a level of high crime rates or suddenly terrorism as in Africa. Furthermore, parents and their kids live and work in other countries offering the public services not like their own one, which give rise to the declining standard of living. They might have spent a long time having a hard job to accommodate a state-of-the-data environment comfortably. Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I strongly believe that going overseas for work with the family has more significant advantages, the most important of which relate to teenager’s development. When youngsters along with their family move to another country, they have a big chance to broaden their minds and knowledge about the outside world. In fact, they not only have insight about new cultures and traditions but are also able to make foriegn friend to learn new languages like their second. The second point worth mentioning is family relationships. Should mothers or fathers work abroad alone, the relationship of members' families may be separated with far-away distance. In fact, some couples end up in divorce resulting in children lacking love from their parents. In conclusion, although problems have some negative sides, I hold my option that the advantage is better than others.
Opinions
are divided
on whether
some
parents can take their
families
when going abroad for
work
. Relevant to this, I
think
the advantage of working overseas with
family
overshadow the disadvantage involved.

On the one hand, if
some
spouses take their
family
with them when working abroad, there will be possible drawbacks in terms of secure or living conditions. Taking cognizance of the
first
idea
, mothers or fathers take their children to a war-torn country, which mean that they are likely put their juveniles in
danger
owing to a level of high crime rates or
suddenly
terrorism as in Africa.
Furthermore
, parents and their kids
live
and
work
in other countries offering the public services not like their
own
one, which give rise to the declining standard of living. They might have spent a long time having a
hard
job to accommodate a state-of-the-data environment
comfortably
.

Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I
strongly
believe that going overseas for
work
with the
family
has more significant advantages, the most
important
of which relate to
teenager
’s development. When youngsters along with their
family
move
to another country, they have a
big
chance to broaden their minds and knowledge about the outside world. In fact, they not
only
have insight about new cultures and traditions
but
are
also
able to
make
foriegn
friend to learn new languages like their second. The second point worth mentioning is
family
relationships. Should
mothers
or fathers
work
abroad alone, the relationship of members'
families
may
be separated
with far-away distance. In fact,
some
couples
end
up in divorce resulting in children lacking
love
from their parents.

In conclusion
, although problems have
some
negative
sides, I hold my option that the advantage is better than others.
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IELTS essay Some parents go abroad for work, taking their families with them. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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