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Talk about life in the city.

Talk about life in the city. 3bjel
Many people consider to live in the city is more interesting than in the countryside. I completely agree with this opinion. City folk has a lot of leisure activity in their free time like: listening to music, watching TV, surfing the Internet, reading books and so on. I obviously believe that playing sport is the most popular leisure activity in the city. Firstly, it's good for everyone's health and help them have strong bones. Secondly, playing sport avoid obesity and other diseases. That is why playing sport is popular. Besides hanging out is also liked by city dweller. At the weekend, they often go to shopping mall to buy clothes or go to the cinema with friends, watch exciting movies. Facilities in the city are better than in the countryside, so shopping mall, cinema, parks are big and modern. But sometimes the malls and supermarkets are so crowded that people can't buy anything. So city is overpopulated. Even though many people still prefer living in the city to living in the countryside.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the city is more interesting than in the countryside. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion. City folk has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
leisure activity in their free time like: listening to music, watching TV, surfing the Internet, reading books and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I
obviously
believe that playing sport is the most popular leisure activity in the city.
Firstly
, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for everyone's health and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have strong bones.
Secondly
, playing sport avoid obesity and other diseases.
That is
why playing sport is popular.
Besides
hanging out is
also
liked by city dweller. At the weekend, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go to shopping mall to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes or go to the cinema with friends,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
exciting movies. Facilities in the city are better than in the countryside,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
shopping mall, cinema, parks are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
and modern.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the malls and supermarkets are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
crowded that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
city
is overpopulated
.
“Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Even though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
still
prefer living in the city to living in the countryside.
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IELTS essay Talk about life in the city.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
172 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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