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Talk about divorce in your country

Talk about divorce in your country l21K
Unfortunately, these days the rate of divorce is increasing dramatically. The predominant reasons are lack of understanding, lack of sex appeal, joblessness, addiction, infidelity, they have tiny patience I mean they are not compatible with each other and inference of other family members. Also, previously age of seven mothers is a custodian however after the child is given to his father up to the age of 18, and after that he is free. If a father is not qualified the support the child the court can decide whether to give custody to the father or not. Totally one in eight of married persons are divorced and these information is illustrate the risky points of Iran because it is leads to reducing the population
Unfortunately, these days the rate of divorce is increasing
dramatically
. The predominant reasons are lack of understanding, lack of sex appeal, joblessness, addiction, infidelity, they have tiny patience I mean they are not compatible with each other and inference of other family members.

Also
, previously age of seven mothers is a custodian
however
after the child is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to his father up to the age of 18, and after that he is free. If a father is not qualified the support the child the court can decide whether to give custody to the father or not.

Totally
one in eight of married persons
are divorced
and
Did you mean "this information" or "these informations"?
these information
is
Consider using a past participle here: "illustrated".
illustrate
the risky points of Iran
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is leads to reducing the population
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IELTS essay Talk about divorce in your country

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
122 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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